Contagious (Nikki sixx fanfic)

Chapter 74. The rest of my god damn life

After the wedding ceremony we all took pictures, Nikki was so out of it that Vince actually had to hold him up in some of the photos. I was trying my hardest to not be upset but it was clearly showing.

'I can't believe him Hailie.' Alex whispered in my ear as we watched the boys take photos. 'I know I'm so sorry he's ruined you're wedding.' I croaked with a tear rolling down my face as I look away from Nikki. 'Hey hey no don't cry, he didn't ruin the wedding. I'm sorry for you and Tommy having to go through this over and over again.' Alex explained, running my back.

'We're going around in circles.' I said quietly. I looked back at the boys who had now finished up taking photos, Mick looked at me sympathetically which made me wanna cry again. I got myself together while Tommy held Nikki up and we all walked towards the limo out the front to take us to the reception.

Everyone's moods were down in the limo and I was hoping to get my spirits lifted once we got to the reception, I was planning on getting majorly fucked up. If Nikki can do it, why can't I? I walked into the joint leaving Nikki behind who was still completely out of it and found who I was looking for, Paddy and the guys from Guns and Roses.

'Hey here she is!' Paddy yelled as I walked towards them. I instantly felt better just looking at them. 'Hey P!' I said cheerfully, giving him a hug. 'Wow Hailie you look absolutely stunning.' Izzy said as I hugged him. 'Thanks Iz you don't look so bad yourself.' I chuckled, winking at him. I let go of him and wrapped my arms around Slash's neck. 'We need to get our drink on tonight dude.' I told him with a smirk. 'Fucking oath darlin.' Slash replied with a smile.

Eventually I had to retreat back to the table that Alex and Tommy sat at with all the groomsmen and bridesmaids so they could have their first dance. I saw Nikki looking at me funny and frowning as I walked across the room to the table but I couldn't figure out why, and to be honest I didn't really care.

As Alex and Tommy took their first dance as husband and wife I could see out of the corner of my eye that Nikki was looking at me intently but I wasn't giving in. Not after the shit he pulled today, he's not getting anything from me. I tried to focus on how happy Alex was and how proud I was to be apart of this.

After a while, we were allowed to roam again. I saw Nikki get up and walk towards me but I quickly got up and walked over to Paddy and the others, leaving him standing there awkwardly as he watched me walk off. 'You all good?' Paddy asked me as I sat down next to him. 'Not really, but I'm gonna get drunk and have a great time now.' I replied with a smile. 'Good, you need it.' Paddy answered handing me a drink. 'Fucking finally!' I exclaimed as I chugged the vodka down.

'Hailie!' Izzy called out, I looked at him as he showed me the baggie inside his coat jacket. 'You read my mind Iz, let's go.' I smiled big, getting up to follow him. 'Hey don't go overboard please.' Paddy said, grabbing my arm. 'I won't, promise! I'll be right back.' I replied trying to convince him but I knew he was worried either way. Izzy reached out his hand for mine and I grabbed it as he lead me out of the room.

As we were gonna walk out the door, I caught Nikki's eye and I could tell he wasn't happy. He knew exactly what I was gonna do but he can't judge without being a fucking hypocrite so I glared at him. Izzy found a little room with a sink and some cleaning equipment and we quickly got into doing lines. I immediately felt better, this is exactly the fix I needed. 'Here, one for you and one for the bride.' Izzy said, handing me two little bags of coke. 'You're seriously the best.' I smiled, kissing him on the cheek before leaving to find Alex.

I ran back to the reception room with Izzy trailing behind looking for Alex. I found her by the girls at the bride and groom table. 'Hey guess what Izzy got you.' I said in her ear sitting down next to her. As she turned around to face me I showed her the bag in my palm underneath the table. 'Thank fuck I was waiting patiently for it.' Alex giggled as she took it and put it down her bra. I gave her a hug and got up to leave, facing Nikki's frowning face right behind me as he sat in his chair.

'What?' I asked coldly. 'Don't think I can't see what you're doing Hailie.' Nikki replied harshly. I walked over to him and got down to his eye level, my face right in his. 'Well I'm glad you've come down from you're drug induced state at you're best friends fucking wedding just to keep tabs on what I'm doing.' I spat. Nikki was speechless and I was too mad to stick around and hear what he had to say so I walked off again.

I walked over the the guys again and sat myself down between Paddy and Izzy. 'You okay?' Izzy asked, obviously because they had all just seen my conversation with Nikki. 'Absolutely perfect.' I replied, taking his drink and throwing it back. 'I'm really sick of seeing that guy hurt you.' Izzy told me seriously. 'Yeah me and you both.' I replied flatly.

'Hailie I don't want you to keep getting hurt.' Paddy said with a sad look. 'This is you're best friend's wedding day and you shouldn't be going through this shit.' He added annoyed. 'Hey Paddy I'm okay.' I reassured him, smiling. 'He just doesn't know how good he's got it.' Izzy said from behind me, leaning back in his chair and looking at Nikki. 'Okay everyone that's enough, now let's enjoy ourselves!' I called out as I grabbed the tray of shots in front of us and handed them to everyone.

After a while of doing a load of shots I was very drunk. Paddy and I got up and dance with Alex and Tommy, I was having a great time and Nikki had long slipped from my mind. 'Hey party's here!' Tommy yelled looking behind me. I felt an arm around my shoulder as I saw Izzy and Slash join us. 'Now it's really a party.' Slash chuckled. 'You want another drink?' Izzy asked as his grip tightened around my shoulder. 'Yeah sure!' I replied cheerfully.

Just as we were about to go to the bar we heard a voice from behind us. 'Get you're hands off my girl Stradlin.' Nikki growled at him. 'Come on Sixx don't start.' Tommy groaned. 'What I can't put my arm around one of my closest friends?' Izzy asked annoyed. 'We all know you want more don't act innocent.' Nikki spat. 'Yeah I do, but she's made it clear she only wants you and what do you do? Treat her like shit, cheat on her, get fucked up on heroin just to name a few!' Izzy ranted getting angry.

'Okay that's enough! Come on Sixx let's go.' I cut in before the confrontation got worse. I lead him out the back to a garden where no body was. I sat down on a garden bench as Nikki sat down next to me, you could hear the party in the distance and see the lights from the window shining through. 'Look Hailie-' Nikki started. 'No Sixx I don't wanna hear you're excuses.' I interrupted. 'No there isn't any, I was gonna say that Izzy's right.' Nikki signed.

'What?' I asked in a little shocked. 'He's right, you deserve better then what I give you. You have to believe me when I say I love you more then anything but I'm losing a battle in my head and it makes me hurt the people I love.' Nikki explained sadly. 'I don't blame you if you left me for Izzy.' He added, looking away. 'Nikki I don't want Izzy, I want you. Now, tomorrow and the rest of my god damn life.' I told him honestly.

'I do too, I just don't want to keep hurting you.' Nikki answered. 'Then don't, kick the habit for good I know you can do it, you're one of the strongest people I know.' I told Nikki trying to encourage him. 'You're right, I can't keep hurting the people I love because of heroin or else I'm gonna lose everything including you. And I can't lose you.' Nikki said after a moment of taking it all in. 'I'll be behind you every step of the way, I'm not giving up on you.' I told him.

He looked into my eyes and my insides went to mush. His lips crashed onto mine as he pulled me in and held me tightly. 'I'm so fucking lucky, I'm such an idiot for doing the things I do.' Nikki said as he pulled away. 'Yes you are.' I giggled. After a little while of sitting there in Nikki's arms and kissing him some more we decided to head back to the party.

'Hey how did everything go?' Paddy asked as we joined the others inside. 'Yeah we're okay now.' I told him wth a small smile. I saw Izzy behind him and smiled at him but he frowned and looked away. 'Yeah I don't know what to tell you about that one.' Paddy said shrugging. I signed because I knew exactly why, if I'm not having problems with Nikki it'll be my friendship with Izzy instead.

I took a seat by myself and try to process everything that had happened. Looking up at Nikki who was with his band mates laughing and smiling, even after everything we've being through I still love that man more then anything.

Nothing's gonna change that.