Finding Me (Todoroki x Reader)

Chapter 80

I found myself twisting and turning in my bed, unable to let the dark calm of sleep take me away from the dull silence of my bedroom. Groaning I looked at the digital clock beside my bed, and groaned again. 'It's two in the morning?! I'll have to get up soon. Damnit...'

Rolling over, I snapped my eyes shut, willing myself to fall asleep. Today was the Hero Licensing Exam, and I had not slept a single wink since crawling into bed. Before we'd gone to bed, Mr. Aizawa had given us a massive speech on doing well and not being nervous about this; that we were going to fight against older kids and all that crap.

However his speech ended up doing the opposite, and made me nervous beyond belief. Now here I was, knotting my sheets up with my legs because I was either too pumped or too nervous to get some shut-eye.

"Oh forget it.." I grumbled, sitting up straight. I wasn't going to get any sleep, it seemed.

I released a sigh, pulling the sheets off me to go to the bathroom. 'Maybe I should wash my face or have a shower. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea...' My eyes crinkled as I switched on the light, blinking a few times to regain focus. I walked over to the sink, twisted the tap and let cold water flow into the plugged bowl. Sighing, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror above the sink.

Damn did I look awful: my H/C locks were tangled in indistinguishable knots; my E/C eyes drooped as black bags hung heavily beneath them; and my S/C skin looked paler than I'd ever seen it before. 'I truly am I mess, aren't I? '

Sighing, I turned the tap off, scooped some water up and splashed it onto my face. I jumped at the cool sensation, but it didn't make me feel any better - or worse, for that matter. So I did it again, trying to distract myself from thinking of what today would bring.

'What will the competition be like? ' I thought. 'What will the examiners have us do? Gosh, I hope it won't come to much combat...'

The incident with Monoma still stuck with me, even after a week of it being over with. Everyone had been so forgiving of it - except Class B, of course. Even the teachers never brought it up again. But it did have me hesitating at every training session. That didn't make Ectoplasm happy, at all. My ultimate move was coming along, but when it came to fighting, I couldn't seem to shake off that feeling of being controlled.

My quirk had possessed me. I'd let it take control, and I almost hurt someone. And as much as I wanted to blame All for One - as much as everyone else blamed him - I couldn't find it in me to believe it. No, this was my fault, and now I had bear that weight myself.

Heaving a sigh, I unplugged the sink, letting the water swirl down the drain as I left the room. I returned to my bed, and flopped onto it on my back to stare absent-mindedly at the ceiling.

'You refused to use your true potential even when it was your only escape. What a shame...'

'You are scared, aren't you. This power is obviously too much for you to handle...'

"Maybe he's right..." I mumbled. "I may not be a fraud, but maybe this is too much for me to handle..."

"You could've killed him, you monster!"

Knock Knock Knock

My eyes widened as I stared at the door, letting the knocks echo throughout my silent room. Someone was knocking on my door? At this hour?

Knock Knock Knock

"Y/N?...You awake?"

At the familiar voice, I leapt out of bed, rushing to the door.