Finding Me (Todoroki x Reader)

Chapter 51

"Shit."

I groaned as I plopped onto the ground, not even caring that it was a dirty footpath that probably had thousands upon thousands of germs living on it.

"Shit shit shit, Tsu!" I cried out, breathing becoming erratic. "I have a crush on Shoto. On Shoto! He's my best friend, how can I have a crush on him?! Oh man..."

"Calm down, Y/N," Tsu said from above me, a gentle hand gripping my shoulder. "You won't be a able to think if you don't stop to breathe, at least."

"How can I calm down when this is happening?! No. What am I talking about? This isn't happening. I don't have a silly, old crush on Shoto. Why would I? I mean, he's only one of the best students in our class, and my best friend. Nothing more, right? Right?!"

I yelped as I felt a soft whack connect with my head, replacing my ramblings with a cry of pain.

"Stop being silly, Y/N," Tsu said, both her hands on my shoulder to steady me. I had to admit that it was weird being looked down upon by the frog-like girl. "You need to get a grip on yourself, and stop fighting this."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Stop fighting your true feelings, and just accept that you like Shoto? It's not a crime, so why are you freaking out about it?"

I was silent for a moment, not having an answer for the green-haired girl. It hadn't occurred to me until now what exactly I felt for the heterochromatic-haired boy, but just the thought of saying what I felt aloud scared the shit out of me.

Heaving a deep sigh, I brushed Tsu's hands off my shoulders as I stood back up. "It's not as easy as you think, Tsu?"

"Why not?"

"Because, Tsu," I shot back, but my voice was small, hardly demanding. "Shoto's my best friend, and from what I can tell, I am his. It's good for now, so why would I want that to change?"

"Because that's not how you really feel, Y/N."

Her bluntness made me flinch, and my gaze lowered to avoid her scrutinisation. 'I hate how well she can read me.' Taking a step away in silence, I began walking home and away from the conversation. From the truth.

"So, what if you're right, Tsu?" I asked, a sudden sadness washing over me. "It's not like he'll feel the same."

Hurried footsteps followed after me, the quiet pitter-patter of Tsu's feet racing to catch up to me as I rounded a corner.

"How do you know that?" Tsu shot back. "What makes you think he wouldn't feel the same?"

"He... He... He j-just wouldn't, okay?"

"Why not?"

"Because, Tsu, look at me!" 

I stopped to face my friend, arms splayed wide. We stood in the middle of the footpath, and I was grateful that no one else was out to witness my dishevelled appearance.

"Look at me, Tsu," I said softer this time, the sadness returning as the frustration died out. "Why would Shoto - probably the best student in our class - like someone like me?"

"Ribbit," Tsu exclaimed with a confused tilt of her head. "What do you mean, Y/N?"

I shook my head, sighing. "I can't compete, is what I mean, Tsu. Just look at me - I'm plain and boring in comparison to you and the others. I'm not cute like Ochaco, or unique like yourself. Cool like Kyoka, or as joyful as Toru. Mina is so wonderfully unapologetic of who she is, and Momo..."