I SEE YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE SERIES BOOK 1: FIRST LOVE

EPILOGUE

CONAN
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I was looking through some of my stuff, having moved away from Eastbourne to Westminster.

My Dad had decided that we spend some time away from home and he'd suggested that we spent time in civilization.

I was supportive of the idea given that I needed some time to get away from home.

I needed time to recollect my thoughts and also think about what to do with my life.

I did as my father had asked me, sure he knew what was best for me but may be I was still too young to see it.

I did what I had to do, keep the family name, make every one proud, eventually as I had been told, happiness would come along the way.

There was a part of me that felt so empty inside, a part of me that felt there was still something missing in my life.

I had been convicted to feel that the past four years of my life had entirely been cupcakes and rainbows but at that moment, it was solitude.

"Unhappiness is part of growing up." I convinced myself.

Unlikely for me, I felt my heart wouldn't accept that.

"Why should I feel this way?" I asked myself.

"What am I supposed to feel like?" I wondered.

My heart knew the answer but may be my brain was not sure.

"Isn't it wonderful to be normal, isn't it wonderful to be like every one else?" I asked myself again.

Still my brain was void of the answers to my questions and I knew deep down much as every one simply wanted to bury the hatchet and pretend as though nothing happened.

It was very easy for them to forget but I couldn't because I was the one who felt the guilt of feeling like I had lied to way too many people.

"There is a price to pay for happiness." I remembered the words that one of my counsellors had told me before.

I was so immersed in my thoughts that I barely had the time to pay much attention to the things that I was unpacking.

Eventually, as I looked through most of the boxes where I had kept my gadgets, my eyes suddenly landed on the compact disc that Nathan had given me.

I recalled his smile, so angelic and warm as he was handing over that disc to me.

"HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY." I read the words that were written on it.

A part of me wandered away into thinking what was on that disc.

"He never told me." I reminded myself and then I stood up and walked to my laptop.

I switched it on and then I opened the CD Port.

I inserted the disc and then closed the port.

I clicked the "play" button and the screen went black.

Immediately afterwards, there was a brilliant beam of pure white light that flashed on the screen.

I then began to read the words that followed on the screen a while later.

"HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY TO YOU FROM NATHAN .

ALL THE MEMORIES WE HAVE SHARED AS A COUPLE IN THREE YEARS AND SOME TIME BEFORE." The words read.

Suddenly, I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE PART 2 from TWILIGHT by RIHANNA started playing in the background.

There was a slideshow that followed a while later of all the pictures that we had taken together.

From the time that we had that Birthday party at the beach, the time we went and visited beachy head.

Every thing we had done together, eating ice cream from the same cup, drinking soda from couple straws, getting our first tattoos together.

Him standing on top of the world, the nights we had spent in the company of each other, all of it he had compressed on that disc.

The next song that played was A THOUSAND YEARS by CHRISTINA PERRY from TWILIGHT'S BREAKING DAWN.

Eventually, the slideshow ended and next was a recording from him.

"Happy third Anniversary Conan, if you are seeing this it means that you got my present.

I do not have much to give you, not enough to get you a custom made golden watch, your best cologne, treat you a meal at your best restaurant or buy you a new guitar.

For everything that you have done in the years that I have known you I am very grateful.

I know that some times I take some things for granted, I am so reserved when it comes to my thoughts but you have always been that one person to hear me out.

You have tolerated me ever since I came to your life and you have been patient with me the way I am.

I am very grateful for all the time that has gone by and we have known each other, for loving you and being loved as well.

You taught me the value of having you and knowing how to always keep fighting for you.

When every other person I could call family always convinced me that I was too repulsive for the world to love me, you looked at me and showed me that I was deserving.

You loved me for my scars, my flaws and incivilities you let them all be a part of our life.

For all the demons that I faced every day, it was because of the confidence that you wrapped me in with your love.

There is no better memory than that of having had you become a part of my life and I am convinced that there is nothing there is that exists that could ever separate me from your love.

You are the best gift and greatest miracle that this life has ever given me and I hope that we can remain to testify the undying love there is that we share.

All because I thank you for teaching me and making me believe that all the time LOVE IS WONDERFUL." He merrily said.

There, the recording ended and the disc stopped playing.

My heart froze, amidst all that I felt awkward.

It hurt trying to be normal but nothing hurt more than breaking the trust of someone who sincerely and deeply loved me.