can't shut my heart up

its useless

Iris POV

          She stays for a while with me in her arms. I'm just so scared...of myself. Maxine is a great hugger which is helping. After a while i pull back

M: feeling better?

I: a lil

M: hmmm...why dont we do something to get your mind of it ight?

I: like what?

M: um...i dont know...why dont we just talk i guess yanno chill

I: okay...so um i guess...how about so tell me about your talents

                        Honestly anything she talks about would take my mind of things for a while but i am curious.

M: me? talent? 

I: well yeah you

M: umm *rubs back of neck* Iris i dont really...i dont have talents

I: really 

M: okay okay yeah sure i can like sing...but like umm...OH i can play guitar 

I: and?

M: thats...kinda it. I'v never really been a good learner aha like

                          I scoot away and lay down, hold my head up with my hands and put my legs in the are.

I: explain 

M: *chuckle* ight...i'v just...as i said iv really only been seen for my voice and stage presence...strategy games aint easy at all...maths a problem if its like algebra and up...trying to say new words is a bitch, i can read...just like yanno not new or big words fast *sigh* i dont know like Mads is kinda the brains i guess...like why try and learn shit when like people already know what to expect from you?

I: thats not true

M: what do ya mean?

I: like people expected me to be fine and well um...yanno point is people change. We dont stay as what others think we are cus then we wouldnt be humans. were unpredictable so...your smart just in your own way

M: nice way to sugar code it

I: im serious Max besides no one is holding you back from it...except you

M: me?

I: i mean yeah the only one you could try and get better would be you yourself...i'd help all you'd have to do is ask yanno

M: i dont know Iris like what would the point even be?

I: you tell me

M: i guess like...i guess i'd like people actually asking for help on things or at least being able to tell people i could help...feel...just not feel useless i guess

I: your not useless Max

M: nah nah *chuckle* i am pretty useless ta be honest like come ON iris my job is a singer at a BAR mind you not oh yanno waiting tables or working the arcade...im not like the butterflies who gets people the perfect clothes for em or work at town hall...im not Shatter who knows tech and can help if given the chance, im not Phoenix you does securty, im cant do shit in the med field or even a back...im just Maxine...the singer 

                      She hangs her head down...i feel so bad for her. She really is convinced she just isnt needed-

M: like lets be honest i was just made to sing and look cool in a music video...t-thats it like im pretty sure Maddie has more screen time and yanno does stuff like clean...i'm just there to look cool...if i wasnt in that vid...or made...it wouldnt change things-

I: hey no Max look at me

M: hm? 

I: thats not true and you've gotta know it...l-like who'd sing at the bar for ya then? and who helped me set up the tv?

M: i was reading directions Iris...and still somehow managed to mess up a couple times on it-

I: but you helped and you accepted to help get me settled you weren't forced to do that, Maddie told me one time you took over for someone at a kids show what about that huh? your not useless at ALL Max i promise

M: really?

I: competently

M: thanks Iris