can't shut my heart up

spill

Sam POV

             At around 5 i decide to head back home. I was chilling on the sofa laying down when the door opened.

P: hey sammy

            it was Phoenix. I forget i gave her a key everyone in a while.

S: oh hey nix

              She shuts the door behind her and sits next to me.

P: so shatter and gemma

S: yep

P: i think they're cute

S: i mean i guess in theyre chaotic lowkey scary type of way

P: yeah...its funny Shatters kinda sweet when she's not pushing people away...kinda like another tough girl i know

S: *rolls eyes* oh whatever come ere

                   I hug her waist and lay there. Yeah i hug people get over it i have feelings...though i dont show em.

P: im serious sammy

S: bout?

P: you shouldn't go so hard on the newbies

S: im not that bad...am i?

P: well you still havnt really met iris, you treat Mad and Max as jokes, most of the bad karma people other then like Trixie and lexie you ignore

S: well i'm okay with the others...besides lexie seems to be the same way except she only talks to me

P: yeah i think she has your same vibe

S: gee thanks i guess

P: she reminds me of you 

S: i wasnt THAT pushy

P: mhm keep telling yourself that bud

S: whatever

P: i mean all it took was about what? a month of me bugging you then another of you finally opening up and about a week until you finally admitted you just wanted a friend?

S: yeah yeah i remember...back when you were scarier

P: could still be if i wanted yanno

S: yeah but i like you like this way more...easier to hug

P: get up here

                 I sit up and put my arms around her neck for a lazy hug. This is what im like...sure i act all tough and shit...i'll admit ima cocky bastard...but i just like to chill with someone who'd give me the chance. We watch a move, i pull a blanket up and Phoenix has her teddy.

S: ya still have that thing?

P: course i do...i'v had it since you gave it to me

S: well i know that

                  Were watching the fault in our stars. I pull out a cig and hold it in my mouth. Nix grabs her lighter and flips it in her hand.

S+P: It's a metaphor, see? You put the thing that does the killing right between your teeth, but you never give it the power to kill you. A metaphor."

              She has the light i have the cig...none of us would every use either. Kinda funny its like we could go our own ways and not care for enough other but we needed each other to get to that point. I couldn't ask for a better friend. 

P: *chuckle*

S: what?      

P: nothing just...remember when i almost killed ya that one time over a damn coffee aha

S: oh ahaha yeah that was a pretty stupid thing to fight over looking back    

P: you came into my place for i think the 3rd

S: 5th

P: ight 5th time ever and tripped on something

S: your damn rug

P: aha yeah my rug

S: yeah and the hot ass coffee spilled onto you...and-