can't shut my heart up

care

Faith POV

             I wake up and BOLT to wake Hope up. I heard to news last night and couldnt hold back tears. I HAVE to see her 

H: wha?

F: come on get dressed were going to see her

H: ugh we can see her late-

F: lemme rephrase...I am GOING to see her

H: *gulp*...f-fine fine lemme get up

                    I pace back and front in the living room until Hope walks out.

F: alright COME ON

                   I sit in the car and she starts driving...slowly like under the damn limit...by about 10

F: come onnnn

H: whatever we'll get there okay chill

F: your driving like a grandma 

H: well most people who are grandma's live long so good for me-

F: Hope im serious

H: ugh FINE okay i'll go faster...*under her breath* i dont see why you care so much-

F: I CARE BECAUSE SHE TRIED TO KILL HERSELF DAMN IT HOPE

H: i do too Faith but i didnt go crying about it-

F: NO YOU DONT. I KNOW YOU DONT CARE HOPE...I'v always fucking knew

                    She looks at me shocked at a red light

F: YEAH i fucking curse damn it Hope im not a kid like you seem to think i am...i have feelings and maybe i dont always wanna be taken care of as a damn child...j-just because she's an unstable...you seem to think i wouldnt care?

                         the light turns green and she keeps driving...not saying a word. We make it to the jail and i quickly do all the paper work to see her with Hope behind me. They open a door and let me in. I sit at the table in the middle of the room waiting for the to bring her in. The door opens and a police man walks her in, cuffs her wrists to the table and leaves. She has her head down...like she'd rather not see me.

F: h-hey jade

J: ...

F: um *gulp* j-jade i know you wont a-answer and you gotten this q-question im sure but...why?

                       She just slowly tilts her head up so i can see one eye. The rest of her face is covered by her messy hair. Her eyes...well eye is almost pink from crying and she has tear stains running down her cheek. She looks around...as if shes looking for. She talks in a raspy yet soft voice as if shes been screaming for days

J: i-is she h-here?

F: no

J: *sigh*...i-i'm sorry

F: about what?

J: o-other then...the obvious...i'm s-sorry that...t-that i tried to hang with you

                      What does she mean shes sorry? why on EARTH would she be sorry?

J: i s-should've never tried...i k-know Hope and some others wouldn't b-be okay with me...i just thought m-maybe i could try...b-but i was stupid

F: what? no you we-

J: y-yes i was...am...i'v a-always noticed h-how people act around unstables its h-hard not to...i go home e-everyday...alone...i wake up alone...i'm a-almost always alone...M-Maxine was the first to give me a chance...b-but she was to s-slow to save me from myself...other the hurting myself...the only thing im good for is hurting the ones i love

F: j-jade thats not t-tru-

*ring*

J: y-yes it is faith...bye

               The time was up. The officer comes in and leads me out. He then looks at Hope.

H: what?

P: well go on

H: again...what?

P: you signed all the paper work meaning you can see her

F: she what?

H: *sigh*...whatever fine lets get this over with

                  I sit on a chair as Hope goes in...why would she even THINK of doing that?