Univeristy Confessions 2

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Hi fellow Thomasians, i just want to ask your oipinion. So here's the story.

My sister got pregnant with boyfriend but he refuses to acknowledge the child coz he is not ready for responsibilities. They broke up and Ate choose to raise her baby alone. She told everything to our parents. There was some problems at first coz they dont want their to daughter to be called "disgrasyada". They tried asking her who is the father but my sister firmly refused to tell them his  name. I know everything about them but for my respect to her i kept my mouth shut. Months later the situation started to calm down. My parents slowly accepted the reality and be happy about it.

On her 8th months of pregnancy, she just suddenly opened up about the father of his child. She told me his name and what are her plans in the future about her child. I admitted that i know about their relationship and i choose to be silent about to my parents because i trust her decisions. "You know if ever he comes looking for our baby, im ready naman to accept him again, i just want a complete happy family for my child." Those were her exact words while we're talking about his ex.
Fast forward, and it was the moment of truth. She was scheduled for a caesarian delivery. The delivery was successful and a healthy baby boy became a new part of our family. We felt a mix of happiness and sadness because we had a new addition to the family but  on the other side losing someone. My sister never recovered from the childbirth, she had cardiac arrest and died days after her childbirth.

I took my nephew under my care and became an instant father. I did everything to fulfill the role my sister had left behind. My world shifted from a easy-go-lucky person to a very protective father figure. I even let her call me Papa but of course we made sure that he knows my sister as his Mom watching from heaven. He's now my everything and I love my nephew so much. But questions started to bother me. Should i reach out to his real dad? I know this is my sister's will, to introduce my nephew to his father. But im afraid of what will my parents. They will hate me if I did it.

Fast forward when my nephew was 3 years old already. I received a friend request from a familiar name. Yes, it was my sister's ex-bf. He started asking about what happened to Ate and their child. At first i ignored his messages but he was persistent. I made a long reply reminding him how big assh*le he is and he doesn't have a right to meet my nephew. He stopped messaging me after that. Our life returned to normal until one day, i had a dream about Ate. It was the same conversation when she was saying her plans about her child. Then she said there, please let my son know his father. I was so confused when I woke up, ot was as if I heard my sister whisper to my ears that night. I immediately took my phone and messaged his ex if he is serious about knowing his child. That started a good conversation with my sister's ex-bf. We had regular conversation and i even sent him updates about my nephew. Because he was in Canada that time he regularly calls at night and talks to his son. To avoid confusion i just told my nephew that he was one of his Tito. It continued until he decided to go back to the Philippines to meet his son.

Fast forward to October 2020, he returned to the Philippines. We met first and talked about our plans on neeting with my nephew. Since its dangerous to meet outdoors, I decided to just take my nephew to his condo. After his check up, i took my nephew to his condo. I made excuses to my parents that we visited a relative in Cavite so it will took us a while to return. He was so happy and there was an immediate bond formed between the two. My nephew even slept on his arms as if he is very close to him. We let him sleep first and decided to go home after he wakes up. Then a thing happened. While we're talking, he grabbed my head and kissed me in the lips. I was awestruck! He confessed that he likes me. I know im gay but i was still shocked of the turn out of events. To be honest, im falling for him also. I admitted it to him days after that incident. And now we're on a "ligawan stage" and it looks like he is honest about it.

Now my fellow Thomasians, is this considered as a betrayal to my sister? Am i being a hypocrite for loving his ex? What will I do if my parents found out the truth about him? I am so confused. I want wisdom. Please help!

Rest in Peace Ate, please guide me again this time. 🙏🙏🙏

PS: Sorry for the long story. I hope it did not bore you.

Submitted:  January 29, 2021 10:19:13 AM HKT