Univeristy Confessions 2

[UST FW]

#USTFreedomWall23108

I used to be other people's "sana all".

I used to be other people's "sana all" when it comes to academic standing. I'm a consistent dean's lister and ako kasi yung tipo na sobrang passionate sa major ko na even if it's hard, I enjoy every topic. If you can describe me with a formula, ako yung "mas mahirap na lesson = mas masaya at mas masipag" na tao. And since I find joy in my major, I find joy in teaching it too. Teaching my classmates and helping them understand our lessons never fail to bring me happiness. It's such a joy whenever I feel na they're comfortable in asking me questions kapag may hindi sila maintindihan and whenever they thank me for not being intimidating and not making them feel "slow" kahit na ang dami nilang tanong. Ako rin yung tipo na laging leader sa groupworks and someone who always remind people about the due dates and stuff. But then, online classes happened.

Ever since our online classes started, I feel like I am not myself anymore. Hindi na ako masaya sa major ko. Wala na akong natututunan. Nagpapasa nalang ako for the sake of compliance. I can't help my friends and classmates with their questions anymore and I feel so behind with my classes.

"I feel so behind", haha I guess dito ako pinakabothered? I just can't accept the fact that Im "behind" because I was so accustomed of always being "ahead". Sobrang disappointed ko sa sarili ko and I keep saying na I'll bounce back but to tell you honestly, hindi ko na kaya. I know some people will say na "don't be too hard on yourself" kasi normal lang tong nararamdaman ko kasi nga abnormal yung setup natin and everyone is adjusting, pero, can you really just brush it off? Because I can't.

Bahala na si batman.
I hope we get through this.

Submitted:  October 7, 2020 1:57:33 PM HKT