Univeristy Confessions 2

[DLSU FW]

#DLSUFreedomWall22857

My ex and I were together for a few years. My entire college life. I took care of her, helped her with her expenses, took her to dates in fancy places, introduced her to my entire family. I loved her enough that I may have even wanted to marry her. I did whatever it took to make her happy. Almost everything I could do, i did. Then we broke up a few weeks ago, because she started to lose that spark with me and had one with someone new. I couldnt do anything to stop her from leaving. How could I? She wants to be happy and I've always done everything to make her happy. We had an exchange where I told her how I felt without begging her to stay, but she already made up her mind. Out of my jealousy, i went into her account which was still logged into my computer to see what shes been telling her friends. And it turns out she liked the guy long before we even broke up. What hurt the most was how she talked to her friends about how obsessed she was with him. It hurt so much because that's how she used to talk about me. And that broke my heart. I know it's wrong to violate someones privacy like that. But i couldnt help it. She's still the love of my life. I absolutely love her to the most of my ability. As much as it hurts to see them together in social media, smiling and holding hands in the same way that we once did... I know that any man who loves a woman this much, and would want nothing more than to see them happy,  would swallow their pride and jealousy, and clap and cheer with joy that their love is finally with someone that they're happy with. Even when it's not you. But it's so difficult. It's constantly painful to watch. She doesnt want me to disappear, and I dont want to abandon my ex, who was also my close friend for 9 years. Can someone tell me I can deal with the pain and jealousy? How I can happily support the two of them together?