Univeristy Confessions 2

[UST FW]

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I'm not lost and found.

Hello Thomasians, my name is Justine. I was inspired by a story posted here and thought maybe I could share a piece of my mind here especially to some people who experienced and experiences the same thing.

I'm a 3rd year Architecture student, thriving. To my guys and girls out there at Beato, we all know the struggle. I've been on a relationship with a girl for over 5 years. Let's call her Kianna.

We were highschool sweethearts. Everyone at our High School campus knew us as a couple more than as individuals. Legal na rin kami sa mga magulang ng isa't isa and I could say that for that span of time, I've been my happiest.

My girlfriend is a Lasallian business student. A thomasian and a lasallian? Yes it is possible. I always visit her at her condo, bought her favorite wintermelon milk tea. We'd talk about our GenEd subjects and also our daily experiences. November 23, 2018, I knew things have changed.

We were still hanging out, but the mood changed. She isn't as clingy, she isn't as chatty. Maybe life's tough, I thought. I asked her what's wrong, continously giving her attention and attending to her needs.

It kinda feels like I lost her.

Then one day I was reviewing here at our Central Library. She said she's around so I went out to see her. She hugged me and gave me a yellow pad paper folded in eights. It is her handwriting. She said I should read it the moment I get back to the library. I was worried sick so I asked what's wrong, she said she's fine and she needs to fetch a book somewhere near and is on a rush. She took off, leaving me right there clueless.

"To Justine. I don't have the guts to tell it to you personally."

It was a yellow pad long novel of us, reminiscing all the good times we spent and even the bad times. It's too long to type but here's the epilogue.

"I had fun. You were my rock and you would always be my rock. It's just these days, I'm off. I just can't feel anything about us. I want you to know that this isn't your fault. This isn't because of any fights we had. You're a hella smart guy, I know you'd understand what I mean. I love you, but I need to find myself."

Find herself.

I don't know what to react the moment I read the letter. All I know is I packed up my stuff, went home and called her.

It was a long night.

I understood, I am a smart guy.

I understood up to the point that she was lost and the moment she gave me that letter, she found herself.

Up until now, I don't know what to feel. Questions started popping inside my head.

Can someone be really lost to the extent that they'd choose to find themselves in homes they're not used to?

She has been my home for 5 good years and being lost in her was the best thing. After a month or two, she found her new home.

Gusto ko sanang tanungin kung invited ba ako sa housewarming, kaso ayoko nalang saktan sarili ko kahit pabiro hahahaha.

Dito ko na ata magagamit 'yung linyahang, "how do you go from having someone as your home to a stranger?"

Kung hahanapin niyo 'yung mga sarili niyo, say it beforehand. Bago kayo magdesisyon, bago kayo bumitaw.

Kung iniwan kayo para hanapin nila 'yung mga sarili nila, hayaan niyo na.

If they're really for you, hindi sila mawawala in the first place, or kung sakali man na may instance na gan'to, you should talk about it, you two. Don't act rashly to the point that the other doesn't have a say.

Hahahaha nonetheless, I'm fine now. I'm going to get that Arch. title before my name, manage our business and build real houses, 'yung tipong wala na mawawala. Lalagyan ko na rin ng map para walang kawala.

Y'all if you want to talk about these things, I'm always at MDB library. See you when I see you. J. 

Submitted:  September 13, 2019 5:20:18 PM HKT