Univeristy Confessions 2

[The Elbi Files]

hindi ako nag-aral sa UPLB. although nakapasa ako sa upcat, i chose to study sa isang university sa Manila. Pero ung recent ex ko graduate sya sa elbi. nagkakilala kami sa isang travel, and eventually nagkamabutihan. LDR kami. working sya sa province, sa manila ako. sa una, masaya, laging magkausap. every night videocall, weekly bumibisita sya sa manila, paminsan ako naman dumadalaw sa province nila. then we travel kung saan-saan. we enjoy each others' company. until something wrong happened. nanlamig sya. naging busy sa work, hindi na kami nakakapag videocall, once a month nalang nagkikita. sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin alam kung saang part nagkulang. i tried to talk to him. i ask him kung may problem ba, may iba na ba? i tried to fix things, and yet wala syang maibigay na aswers. nakipag hiwalay ako, pero ayaw nya. so i gave him another chance. another chance to patch things up. to go back where we started. pero wala na talaga, it was a wasted chance. and all he can say is sorry. para saan ang sorry if you will not correct the things that you did wrong, and for the things you did not do. I know wala naman perfect relationship, and masasabi ko na minahal ko talaga sya. but its more painful na magtyaga sa isang relationship that is not working out, na lagi nalang one sided ung love.
its been almost one month since we broke up, and here i am, trying to fix myself. ngayon na lang ulit ako na broken hearted ng ganito. ang hirap pala. ung hindi ka makafocus sa work, ung pinipilit mong maging masaya pero something inside you tell you to be sad.

Perhaps, the saddest part of our story is that no one from his friends have known na naging kami. he did not tell it to anyone, not even the closest of his friends, as part of his being discreet. mas proud kapa sa mga panalo ng UP teams sa uaap kesa saken. it hurts, it really hurts. but i know, in time, makaka move on din ako sayo, hayop ka...

AdUP, 2018, CEAT