Univeristy Confessions 2

[The Elbi Files]

I read a confession about that drunk person who confessed his feelings with his roommate so I guess I'm inspired to give this story of mine another take. 'Cause just like that person, I fell for my oh-so-gwapo roommate. Well, I'm this typical potato-headed, hollow-brained guy. Yas. We're both guys. Actually, he's straight and I'm not. I didn't really intend this to happen, I actually partly blame him kung bakit ako na-fall. I survived a semester na hindi nagkagusto sa kanya. Just lately, I keep on sensing these vibes na parang may gusto siya sa akin kahit super aware naman akong impossible. 1) He's straight. 2) He has a girlfriend. 3) Mukha akong basahan.

Pero siya? Oh god. He's so handsome. But he's more than meets the eye. What makes me like him even more is he looks so soft and gentle despite having such masculine physique (yes, he's kinda athletic). It looks like there's no amount of toxic masculinity in him. I've seen him cry, create beautiful stuff in a girly level, bond with his friends plus he's really, really kind and caring. I also think he's opinionated and smart. Tapos organized and anal din. Well-off pa. Typical apple gadgets-equipped person; with iPhone, MacBook, and such. Plus, future- and family-oriented. (San ka pa!?) Bagay nga sila ng girlfriend niya eh. They look so good together. She's so pretty and looks so kind too. When I see them around together, I can't help but be genuinely happy for them 'cause I can see them having a wondeful future. I always visualize them walking gaily in the park, carrying their two amazingly beautiful children, and walking their dog na mas maganda pa sakin. Hayyyys. What does it feel kaya to be on the other side? Yung tipong hindi ako pangit and unintelligent so maybe at least one person would or might like me. And hindi ako sucker for gentle, straight men. Sabi nga, "Being gay is all fun and games until you fell for a straight guy." HAHAHAHAHA I've established in my mind naman na na there's a higher chance of me getting struck by a lightning or winning the lottery kesa sa may magkagusto sakin. Kaso, there are really cold nights when I wish na ma-feel ko naman ang warmth ng romantic love from another person. Maranasan ko naman minsan yung feeling na may nagmamahal sakin.

To my roommate, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean this to happen. Bakit mo kasi ako kinantahan? Jk. HAHAHAHA This is the assumption that started it all. Ang assumerang frog ko pa naman. I always tell myself na this is maybe just an infatuation and it'll eventually pass by. Ang-complicated lang kasi. Matatapos na naman yung sem and I'll be looking for another dorm to move in to. Some parts of me hate to go but I have to. These feelings won't end if I get to see you everyday kasi eh. I'm gonna miss you so much tho. :(

- Rotten Freshie, 2018, CDC