Univeristy Confessions 2

[DLSU FW]

I always knew we would not end up marrying each other.

We met when we were in our 1st year of junior high. He was cocky and prideful kaya everyone around us wondered how we became friends in a short period of time. Ff to 3rd year, we started dating. I am a very religious person. I always make sure to not miss the Saturday and Sunday mass in our church. He was the total opposite of me back then. Noong una, he would just wait for me outside the church until it's over. It was not his thing, he said. Boring daw kasi. So I let him be. It was our usual setup every week, until Christmas season came. I asked him if to attend simbang gabi with me and my family. I thought he would refuse, pero pumayag agad siya and even brought his family with him. My heart was overflowing with joy, and so was he. First time ko siyang makasamang magsimba. Akala ko mabo-bore siya because that's the reason why he never goes to church. Surprisingly, he was very attentive and even finished the 9-day night masses with me. We were really happy. We told each other how much closer we got ever since we started going to church together. It continued until we were in Senior High School. Nagbago siya in a good way. He became very humble and understanding. He also became lively and passionate. Our relationship became stonger because of that.

After our SHS graduation, a party was held in one of the restaurants in BGC. We attended the party together with our friends and indulged ourselves with alcohol and food. We both decided to go home at 1am kasi I was already feeling tipsy and so was he. We got in the car and sat there silently. It was an unusual silence. Whenever we're together, we would always talk a lot about things, even the nonsensical ones. Finally, he broke the silence as he held my hand.

He told me that he wants to pursue Theology in College.

I was rendered speechless for a second. When I recovered, I hugged him tight and congratulated him. I saw how happy he was after that, and I never want to deprive him of that happiness. Since we started going to church years ago, I saw how devoted and passionate he was in serving The Lord. Mas naging active pa nga siya sa akin. I never deemed that as a bad thing, but since then, I always knew we would not end up marrying each other. And hearing him finally say what he wants to be broke my heart. I wanted to, but I couldn't be happy for him at first. I wanted to be selfish and beg him not to because I love him so much and I know how much he loves me too. But seeing him happy and determined stopped me from doing so.

Still, we continued our relationship until during our 4th year in college. We celebrated after the graduation from the afternoon until dawn. It was a very fun day, unfortunately, it has reached its end and so is our relationship. Tinigil niya yung sasakyan sa tapat ng bahay namin. We were silent. None of us wanted to talk. Minutes passed pero tahimik pa rin so I decided to be the one to break it up. I told him I always knew we wouldn't last and how painful it was for me. I carried the pain for years because I never want to take his dreams away from him. He starting crying too and apologised. Sabi niya when he told me in SHS that he wants to pursue Theology, he had decided to break up with me that night pero hindi niya tinuloy because he loves me so much and he wants us to last a little longer. It was very selfish, but it's the selfishness that I was thankful for.

We ended everything in good terms. It's been years now, and I have moved on from everything. As for him, he became an official Pastor sa church na pinupuntahan namin dati. We're good friends now, and we often see each other sa mga reunion and get togethers.