Shades Of Styles

The Other Man (part 3)

Ooh I fucked up! I fucked up, bad. I can't believe I slept with my ex boyfriend last night, while I'm still with Vanessa! What the fuck is wrong with me?!

But then again...am I still with Vanessa? I haven't talked to her in 3 days and the last thing that happened was her rejecting my "I love you." Was that a break up though? Ugh! I don't know.

I don't even know if I regret it that much. Being with Harry again, reminded me of how good we were together before. We're even better now because we've had more experience and we're older. The sex we had, was something I haven't experienced in a while. Then again, I've been dating women for the last couple of years so the experience is different. Even so, Harry is so much better than he was 10 years ago, obviously.

As I lay in his hotel bed with him only inches way from me, sleeping soundly, I don't feel weird. I feel like I fell back into place. A place I forgot about for so long. But a good place.
Before I can even think, I let my fingers reach out to him. The pads of my finger tips trace circles in his back before he twitches a moment and then completely turns his body around to face.

"Mmm good morning," he greets me, his voice full of sleep. His face matches but some how he looks beautiful in this sunlit room.

"Morning," I smile at him. His hand moves out and catches my fingers that are still dancing in his body. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses each of my fingers individually which makes my stomach flutter. When he finishes, he places my hand on his face and I press my palm in to his cheek.

"This feels right," he breaths out and I nod. It does. It feels like we just continued where we left off. "You agree?" He asks when he notices me nodding.

"Yeah, I mean-I think so. It just feels-right. Feels like us." I admit.

"You don't regret last night?" He questions as my hand drops from his face and down to his arm.

"No." I shake my head, not looking at him. I don't regret it, I know that much for sure. I am anxious though, as I'm not sure if I just cheated on Vanessa or not. And if I have, what to do about it. I know I love Vanessa but if I just hurt her, I don't know what I'll do. She hurt me too but this is much worse than what she did.
Harry places a hand under my chin snd lifts my head up. My eyes finally meet his and I let out a sigh.

"I can tell you're overthinking. Stop that. Nobody did anything wrong here." He assures me. I stare at him for a moment before I feel my anxiety build enough to cause tears in my eyes. "Oh, (y/n)." He sighs in worry. His hand moves from my chin to my back and he pushes me into his chest. I sob a little, trying to gain my strength as he shushes me and let's my hair.

"Tell me what's wrong." He urges. I suck in my breath and the rest of tears before pulling a few inches away from him.

"I just-don't know what to do." I groan, wiping away my tears. "I love Vanessa and I don't even know if I just cheated on her or not. I haven't spoken to her in 3 days. I mean, I've tried but she won't answer me. I can't tell if that means we're broken up or not." I ramble on.

"It wasn't an official break up?" He asks and I shake my head. Not that I know of, she never said we were broken up. She just walked away from me.

"I keep hoping that she just needed some time to realize whether she loved me too. But maybe that was her breaking up with me?" I wonder.

"You'll never know if you don't ask. Have you asked?"

"No, I guess not." I haven't actually talked to her since that night but I've tried to contact her many times. I called her like 5 times in the last 3 days and texted her at least 20 times. But I never asked if we were broken up. Maybe I should ask.