Shades Of Styles

Druken Love

One.
Two.
Three.
Four.

Is that it? Another!

Five.
Six.
Seven.

More!

Eight.
Nine.
TEN.

Ten shots of whatever was just put in front of me and I feel amazing. It's like he didn't even exist! Maybe he didn't. Who cares, that was last weeks news, tonight I'm drowning myself in shots! Shots! Shots!

"Okay, (Y/N). That's enough." Someone says next to me but I ignore that voice and grab a random drink from off the table. It goes down like water and that tells me it's time for more!

"I think we should break up. We're just not working out right now. I need time away...from you-from this."

"Please, don't leave me."

"I'm so sorry (Y/N)."

Still hearing the conversation play in my head, no amount of alcohol could possibly drown out the sound of my heart breaking. I feel vomit start to creep up my throat and rush to the bathroom, filling the toilet with everything I've had in the past 24 hours.

"I'm so sorry (Y/N)."

"Harry, I need you. Please."

"I-I can't. I'm sorry." Eyes full of tears, he leaves our once shared apartment.

"(Y/N!)" the sound of his voice fills my ears and I turn from my spot on the floor in this bathroom. I don't see him anywhere, just a blurry person coming to my rescue.

"(Y/N)! Are you okay?" The blur asks and I shake my head, wiping my mouth. "Come on." She stands me up and walks me outside, the crisp air hitting my face and making me feel only slightly better.

"I got it from here." Someone else says and grabs my arm gently.

"No, I don't think you do." The first person counters, pulling me back from the second.

"Trust me, I do. Let her go." The second person pulls me from the first persons grip.

"(Y/N)...is this okay?" The first person asks and at this point I just want to go home and lay down so I just nod at her.
A few minutes later, I'm in a car, my head against the window, all I want to do is sleep.

"I'm sorry...for everything." The voice says and I just nod. I don't know who this is, probably another person we brought with us tonight. "You aren't taking this too well." The persons hand is on my back now. I nod again.

After what seems like the longest ride of my life, sitting next to someone I don't know, they help me out of the car and inside somewhere else. My eyes are shut now, the lights coming from outside hurt too much for me to keep them open. The person, grabs my hand, a hand I recognize but am too drunk to remember. My head falls back on their shoulder and then I am laid down on a bed and I hum at the comfort. My shoes are removed and then a blanket covers my body.

I wake up to the sound of music coming from my phone, as I do almost every morning. It's pretty much the only thing that helps me sleep but I haven't been using it, it's actually been about 2 weeks. I don't even remember turning it on. I sit up, slowly to assure my head doesn't pound more than already is and turn off the music.

"You're awake." A very familiar voice says coming from another room and my heart almost jumps from my chest as I see Harry come in.

"H-Harry," I gulp. I have nothing to say. No words to form, I'm actually stunned. I stare at him, wide eyed, trying to form some time of word.

"You don't remember?" He asks and all I can do is shake my head. I don't even remember being put in bed. I was sure I was going to wake up in a gutter today.
"I...brought you home. You were super drunk last night." He explains. Why? How did he know where I was and what gave him the right to drive me back home, when we're broken up. "I know, I overstepped...but-your friends called me and told me you were drinking a lot at the bar-the bar we use to go to. They-they sounded worried and that makes me worried." He stammers. He hands me a drink, he brought in with him and I realize it's coffee. I take a small sip and it's just the way I like it.

"I-I made it the way you like...2 sugars, 2 creams." He smiles at his own achievement like it's a big deal. He should know it, we dated for 3 years. "Look, I know this is going to sound stupid...I never explained why I needed to break up with you and maybe...maybe, I should do I'm going to." He gulps, sitting down at the foot of my bed. He explains that, he thought because of his career and him not being around much was hurting me. He figured it'd be better if we broke it off so I could find someone who doesn't travel as much and is around more. He right, that is stupid.

"It's just...we had been fighting so often because of my traveling, I figured it would be best if we didn't...you know." He shrugs.

"Harry." I say before clearing my throat. "Wouldn't it have made more sense, to talk to me before doing all that? I mean, it would have saved us so much heartbreak. I would have explained that it was never about you traveling. It was about me, trying to figure out if I wanted to go with you and you know, the day you broke up with me, is the day I decided that I would go with you." I explain, my own voice hurting my head. His eyes search mine and then he nods.

"I suppose, that's all ruined now?" He asks and my eyes widen at the question.

"Of course it is. You broke my heart, Harry." I tell him and he nods. "Thank you...for the coffee and thank you for helping me home but what happened 2 weeks ago, was something my heart will never heal from. Not even if we got back together...I don't think I could look at you the same."

"You know, when your friends called me and told me you were drunk, my instincts kicked in and I remembered all the times you would get drunk and need me to recuse you. There wasn't a time where I was mad or upset with you for it. And somehow, 2 weeks, after we broke up...you still needed me, in the way you needed me before. But...little did I know, that I need you-like before. Ill always need you (y/n), in every way possible." His words sound so soothing and I wish I could take him back but he hurt me.

"I thought I needed you, the day after we broke up, I wanted nothing more but to crawl into your arms, on our bed and lay there. Hell, the day after that and maybe even last night. But as I sit here, knowing the truth of it all, I know I don't need you-or maybe I want not to need you. Most days, I'd crawl in bed, by myself and wish to be in a different universe, maybe the universe where we never broke up or a universe set in 20 years from now where I'm all better...but there wasn't a night-that I didn't wish to be in a timeline that I never met you." The words hurt to admit but they're true. "Harry, I loved you for 3 years and I love you now, with my broken heart but right now, all I see is the guy who broke it. I'm sorry."

"(Y/n), I-" he tries but I cut him off, he sounds more broken then me now. Maybe because he wasn't expecting me to say these things.

"I need you to leave. Please." I say, not looking at him. "And I promise Harry, that there will never be a time when you need to come to my rescue again. So, for the sake of what we had...please leave." I beg him and he doesn't even flinch this time, he just leaves.