Shades Of Styles

"Champagne Problems"

This imagine is based on the song champagne problems by Taylor Swift bc it's one of my favorite songs of hers and I really like wanted to write something based on the imagery she provides in the song.

It happened almost a month ago but the memory plays in my head over and over like a song left on repeat. No one ever talks about the pain you feel when the answer is no.
Hell, I've never even met anyone who's been told no but this pain, it's something I can't shake. The memory of her saying no and just walking away from me fills my every thought.

"(Y/N), will you marry me?" I had asked her from my spot under her, one knee on the grown, the other bent and a ring that costed more than I'd like to admit now, sitting in my hand as I presented it to her. I was so excited and so nervous but I was hopeful for us and the future we could have together.
I never even imagined that she'd say no and that our 4 year old long relationship would crash and burn in front of me.

"...no...I'm so sorry but no." Was the last thing she said to me. She wouldn't return my calls or texts. And I can't seem to find her no matter where I look.
I want to be angry with her, I deserve an explanation at least. I gave her my heart and she threw it away.

I told my family weeks before I was going to ask and they were all so excited for us. I had planned to go home after and have our families waiting there for us, to celebrate but the way they cheered for us, not knowing that it was just me on the other side of the door with turns burning down my cheeks and the ring still it's box, that only put salt in the wound.

I left for the weekend after that night to clear my head and when I came back all of her stuff was gone. She even took the pictures of us that she had hung up. It's as if she was never here but there's a hole in my heart that tells me otherwise.

——2 Weeks Later——

I've stared at this letter for way too long now, I need to open it and see what it says. My heart is nearly pounding out of chest.
I was hoping she'd eventually give me some type of closure but I never thought it would be in letter form. Though she was always poetic like this. She doesn't deserve for me to hear her out, if there is an explanation in here but I deserve to know why.

Harry,
I'm sorry this is a month late and I'm so sorry for everything. I wasn't going to write this, I was going to figure out a time when we could see each other so we could talk but I don't think I can see you and I don't think you want to see me. I understand you must hate me now.
I love you so much and I wish I could give you a simple answer but there isn't. All I know is that this is what's best for me and for you.
But I want you to know that I'm not the girl you'll marry, I don't think I ever was. I accepted that way before you asked. And when you did, I couldn't bring myself to say yes as I knew it would have been wrong. I'm not made for you Harry and that's okay. We spent too many years pretending that we were headed somewhere but the road had to come to an end.
There's a girl out there that is made for you and you'll find her one day. And she won't hurt you like I did, she won't reject your proposal and she'll make you much happier than I ever could.
I'm so sorry for hurting you like this and I don't deserve your forgiveness. So don't give it to me. I deserve to sit in this hurt just as much as you have.
-(Y/N)

So that's it? That's all I get? After 4 years together?! I've waited a month for explanation and this letter thats only half a page is all she has to say to me after breaking my heart?!
Before I realize it, the letter is in pieces on the floor. Tears are staining my cheeks and I feel like I'm going to pass out from hyperventilating.
She didn't fix anything, she just shattered my heart even more.
I can't handle this, I can't handle sitting here in this empty apartment where she should be. But instead she rather hurt me and run away. I don't miss her anymore...I-I hate her! I hate what she's done to me. I hate how I feel right now.
I cry into my hands, letting all the tears I've held back for the last month fall into my them.
"Fuck!" I shout into the void, finally hearing my own voice in what seems like forever.
I end up pulling out my wallet from my jeans to get her picture that I still haven't thrown out because part of me was hoping that she'd come back to me but that letter only solidifies the fact that she isn't.
"I don't hate you." I tell her picture in between my fingers. "I couldn't ever. I just want you back." I cry and hold the picture to my chest.