Shades Of Styles

Not My Harry Part 9

"Look (y/n), you know I love you. But we've been going out for 7 months now. You refuse to make anything official and as much I love you and Sadie I can't stick around if you aren't willing to take this relationship further," Luke tells me as we sit in my living room. I swallow the bile in my throat after he says the words. I hate that I'm not in a place to be with anyone else, I honestly don't know if I'll ever be. I think I've just kept Luke around for company and Sadie's sake.

"I'm so sorry Luke. You're right." I sigh, holding back tears. I know I have to let him go. It's what's right. "I'm sorry but I just can't get to that place mentally, I don't know if I ever will." I explain and he nods.

"Then I'm sorry too." He stands up. I follow his movements. "I wish I could be enough for you." He says as he gives me a hug.

"Me too." I finally start crying into his shoulder.

"And remember if you or Sadie ever need anything I'm just a phone call away," he assures me and I nod. After that he leaves my house and my life. I hate that we didn't work out but I'm glad we did what had to be done before we both grew too much into the relationship. Luke's a good guy and everything he's just not my guy.

Knowing that Sadie is at a friends house for the weekend makes it easier for me to break open my bottle of wine. I grab the bottle from the cabinet and a wine glass. With tears in my eyes I sit down on the couch and pop open the bottle.

Before I know what I'm doing, my phone is to my ear and I whisper to myself to be quiet.

"(Y/N)?" The other line says and I laugh to myself. His voice saying my name has always been one of my favorite things.

"Come over." I say as smoothly as I can.

"You're drunk." He states and I nod even though he can't see it.

"Doesn't matter, come over." I tell him again.

"Are you sure-yeah I'll be over in a minute okay?" He assures me and then I hang up. Ignoring the fact that I just made a big mistake I put my wine glass in the sink and take a few more sips of wine before jumping in the shower.

I'm in the shower until I hear the doorbell go off, the hot water has sobered me up enough to understand the severity of what I did 20 minutes ago but not so much so that I want to stop it. I pull a towel around my body and walk to my living room door, opening it up to find my not so ex husband standing in front of me. He takes in what I'm wearing and gulps.

"It's great to see you Harry." I tell him and turn around as he follows me back to the living room. I make a detour to the kitchen and grab my wine bottle. "Want some?" I offer and he shakes his head. Oh, that's right he doesn't drink anymore. "Oh, yeah you're sober." I say my thought out loud. I end up pouring what's left down the drain.

"You didn't have to do that." He tells me in a calm voice.

"No it's fine, it wasn't that good anyways." I lie. It's my favorite kind actually but I don't wanna make him uncomfortable.

"Is Sadie here?" He asks, changing the subject and I shake my head.

"She's out with a friend." I inform him and he nods.

"Are you...gunna get dressed?" He asks and I shake my head again.

"Nope." I laugh. For a while we just talk, mostly about the last 4 years of our life's. Me, trying to get my life together and him-well the same. As he talks to me I stare into his eyes and I see the Harry I once loved. I wanna blame the wine flying through my veins but I know I'm mostly sober now-as I kiss him. He kisses me back gently and then a little roughly but pulls away.

"We can't...you're drunk." He sighs.

"I'm actually not as much I was. I know what I'm doing. Trust me." I assure him and kiss him more before I say "bedroom." He picks me up in a bridal style carry and I direct him to my bedroom.

The next morning I remember 90% of what I did, all of my questions are asked when I look over to see a half naked Harry. Im not mad at him, I knew what I was doing. I'm mad at myself for doing it. Nonetheless I need him out of my bed and out of my house. My head is pounding and I have to go get Sadie today.

"Harry." I nudge him a few times. This is how I use to wake him up before so I assume it should work. He mumbles something and then turns over and his eyes open for a second.

"You're not mad are you?" He asks in his sleepy voice which still sounds so sexy on him.

"No. I'm very aware of my actions. And I'm sorry for them." I tell him as I pull myself out of bed.

"I'm not." He chuckles a little. I roll my eyes, pulling a blanket around myself and going to closest to find clothes.

"You're going to have to leave." I inform him and he sits up.

"Why?" He questions.

"Because I have to go get Sadie soon and you can't be here." I tell him like it's obvious.

"Let me go get her!" He offers very excitedly and I shake my head.

"That's not a good idea, considering how she reacted the last time. Just get dressed and go, I'll call you later okay?" I assure him. He sits quietly and then pulls himself out of bed.

"Okay." He agrees. I'm taken aback by his response because even the Harry I knew back in college never agreed that quickly. I decide not to comment on it and we both get ready in silence.

A month later
I've been feeling weird for the past month, throwing up every once in a while and having really bad headaches. I think I'm coming down with something so I'm heading to the doctor today just to make sure I'm not dying.
In the past month, Harry and I have only been talking over phone calls or texts. He hasn't been over at all and thankful for that, as much as I want his company sometimes I know it wouldn't be good to have him over. What happened last time was an accident and it doesn't need to be happening again.

"(Y/N)?" The nurse calls for me and I stand up and follow her back to a room. She checks my weight first and then my ears and throat. "Since it's been a while like you said, we'll need a urine sample." She explains and hands me a small cup. I nod once and she takes me back to the bathroom. I do what's needed and hand the cup back to her. She thanks me and tells me the doctor will be right in.

When the doctor comes in I sit up straight and wait for him to speak. I'm nervous and I'm also having another big headache.

"Hello Mrs. Styles." He greets me and I sigh. I haven't been called that in so long I almost forgot that was even my last name. Instead of correcting him-because I can't I greet him back. "What seems to be the issue?"

"Well over the last couple weeks I get either super nauseous or I actually end up vomiting and almost all day every day I get migraines that put me to sleep." I explain to him.

"Is there a chance you could be pregnant?" He suggests and my heart drops. I didn't even consider that.

"N-no...I-" I haven't been on the pill for the past 4 years and the last time I had sex was a month ago with Harry but I figured he used a condom. Is there a chance he didn't?

"Well if you're unsure it's good we have the urine test. I suppose we can run a few tests to be sure it isn't anything else." He explains and I nod.
After running some tests he explains that there isn't anything wrong, I could just have the flu but all my tests were negative-besides the urine test which will take 3 days to get back. He assures me he'll call me when he gets the results and tells me to have a good day.

The rest of the ride home I'm anxious about the test results. What if I am pregnant? Should I tell Harry? It's his for sure, Luke and I never slept together. One things for sure-if I tell Harry, he'll never leave and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

A/N: unrelated but how would you all feel about supernatural/sci-fi imagines. (Ex: Vampires, ghosts, time traveler, etc)