Shades Of Styles

Coma Part 4

I watch Harry has he tries his best to concentrate on his work, I could tell being away from me frustrated him. Or maybe there was something else worrying him. He stares at his computer screen, the reflection of it shining his eyes. They're glossed over, as he tries to regain his own attention. Numbers and words stare back at him, his hands move up and on to his keyboard, ready to type but he's hesitant. I want to help him, to encourage him to work, I hope it's not me that's distracting him too much. 

"Go on," I say before I can think. I'm not sure why I said that, as if he can hear me, probably just reflexes. His head jerks around to look in the direction I'm in. So he can hear me, or at least is aware of my presence. I move to where he's sitting, it's quiet here in his office. He asked that he worked only after hours, after the first day of going back to work, he realize he couldn't handle being around too many people. So there aren't many people in the building, mostly janitorial and the few over achievers. "Harry," I say as I stand next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, he reacts to it as well, staring at it. 

"Impossible," he whispers to himself. My heart races at the idea that he's finally catching on. "(Y/N), is that you?" he asks. A smile spreads across my face at him saying my name to me. 

"Yes," I answer simply. I don't want to say too much, I'm not sure how much of what happens will transfer to him. He matches my smile and turns his body in my direction, keeping his hand on his shoulder and I keep mine under his, even though it's not physical for him. A tear drops from his face as he stares at the empty space where I stand. 

"How?" He questions. I shrug my shoulders at the question because I am not sure how it works either. It has been a week and a half since I've been here in this state so I'm still trying to map it all out myself, I don't even know how I was able to connect with him now and I'm not sure what will translate between the two worlds. "Are you still there?" He asks when I don't answer the question, I forgot that he can't see him. His eyes search the area now as if he'll be able to see me if he looks hard enough. 

"Yes," I answer again. His smile comes back to his face and it makes me smile once more. 

"Are you dead?" He questions more tears forming on his face but keeping the smile, I'm sure he has a lot of questions but I know I wont be able to answer a lot of them. 

"No," I shake my head and move my hand from his shoulder, he realizes it gone after a second or two and his smile drops. 

"Where are you?" His eyes continue to search the air and I sigh. I brush my hand over his and try my hardest to lift it, when he realizes what I'm trying to do, he follows the feeling of what my hand is doing and I place it on cheek, to him I'm sure its just like having his hand in the air but for me, the feeling of his hand on my cheek, or what should be my cheek, is everything. His smile reappears. 

"I can feel you, how? How is this possible?" He asks. "If you're not a ghost? What are you?" 

"I'm not sure." I wish I could get the image of me translated to him but the fact that he can feel and hear me is enough for now, I hope I'm not in this for state too much longer. 

"How can you speak to me as if you're right here, yet not just go back to your body and come back to life?" 

"I've tried, I don't know how any of this works." I explain. It's clear to me now that he can hear me clearly as if we were normally and before it was possible he didn't believe himself when he heard me. So I'll speak to him for as long as I can, let him feel my presence until he wont be able to anymore. I let go of his hand now, it falls from the air, letting me know that it was all me that was holding it there. 

"Don't go." He urges. He assumes that because I moved that I will leave him, he needs to know that I wont ever leave his side if I can help it. 

"I won't, I promise." I tell him and finally grab his hands with enough force to alarm him. He looks down at his hands and turns his palms up so I can have easier to touching him. Palms are more sensitive anyway. 

"I wish I could see you," he sighs. I do too but this is as much as I can do for the both of us. Was it not enough for him? That we were able to break some sort of barrier between the realms of life? I thought it was, something like this that only seemed to appear in movies, it was real and we were communicating through a different form of being. 

"I do too," I agree. 

"This is strange," He admits. "I am glad though. I just didn't believe something like this could exist. I thought I had been hearing you over my shoulder all week, or feeling you touch me. I thought I was going crazy but you're real, this is real." He pauses for a second and flips his hand back down before standing quickly out of his seat. "Though this could be a crazy, fucked up dream. What if I'm dreaming right now? It would make more sense...I don't think-did I fall asleep?" I am in shock at how quickly his belief of me being here faltered but I suppose it makes more sense that he would dream this. Talking to the air as if there were someone there and getting a response didn't seem like something anyone could rationally believe to be true, let alone feeling their presence around you and touching you. Hell, maybe I'm dreaming in this coma state as well and this is all in my head. I didn't want to believe it and I couldn't, not for my own being. 

"Harry, I'm here...with you." I tell him, urging him not to let his mind ponder the idea for too long or else he would push my away, believe himself to be a crazy person. "This is real, please believe me. You're awake now, with me. My spirit is here with you, I have been since my accident, this whole time." That was the most I had ever said to him, ever spoke out loud as a spirit. I'm not sure if that all made it through or not. 

"The levels of communication are low, if this is real. I want this to be real, I do but I just can't believe it." He grabs a pen from a drawer and begins to write words down. I'm here. Real. Believe. Awake. Me. Here with you. Accident. That must have been all he picked up from my urgent words. I need to keep my sentences brief. "I need to be sure if this is real, I'll write down everything you say, if this is here tomorrow I'll know this is all happening." he explains as he sits back down. That makes sense, this is a little unbelievable, to me as well. 

"Okay." I say so he knows I'm still here. He writes it down and turns back to the area in standing in, his hand stretches out for me as he relaxes again. 

"Please, come back to me," He asks with worry in his voice. I oblige and grab his hand, easing it back down to his lap. "Even if this isn't real, if I'm dreaming right now, this is the best dream I've had in the last week." He sighs and I smile at the thought. If this is fake for me too, I don't know if it's a bad state of mind to be in, when my body is hooked up to a bunch of machines. "I love you." My heart flutters at the words, though he's said them a thousand times in the past three years that we have been together, hearing him say that to me when Im not physically in the same world as him makes me happy. 

"I love you too." I respond and he writes down all of it, letting me know that it all made it through.