Shades Of Styles

The Other Man (part 4)

As I sit in this small cafe, my head is still reeling from the goodbye Harry gave me. It was much more than I was expecting and almost made me late for this.
Luckily, I'm still waiting on Vanessa but she just told me she was right around the corner.

So much has happened since the last time I saw her, I can't even begin to wonder what she's been up to in the last 3 days. I can't believe it's only been 3 days, I feel like it's been a lot longer. I don't even know what she's going to tell me. I don't know what I'll tell her either.

"Hey, so sorry I'm late." She says from behind me and I turn slightly to look at her. I give her a nod and then she sits down across from me. She looks like she hasn't been feeling well. I wonder if she's sick.

"That's okay, I bought your coffee already." I smile as I place her coffee cup in front of her chair. She smiles back and grabs the cup.

"So, I guess I should just tell you everything." She sighs, getting right to the point. "I'm so sorry for storming away like that. I honestly was just so overwhelmed with emotions, that was the first thing I could think to do." She explains and I nod. "I know I haven't been really communicating with you the last few days." She sighs and then pauses, looking at me, waiting for me to speak but I have nothing to say. "The reason why-is because...I was trying to figure out how I felt about you. I didn't want to see you again until I could tell you how I felt. But here I am-and well..." she pauses again. "I love you too (y/n)." She says. My heart flutters a little at the words and I could nearly jump out of my seat.

"Really?" I ask and she nods happily.

"Yes. And that's why I hate what I did. The way you said it was so romantic and I ruined it. And now I have to say it back in this stupid cafe." She groans.

"Hey, no-I love you too Ness." I tell her while grabbing her hand. Then it dawns on me, do I really love her if I just cheated on her? How do I tell her after she just confessed her love to me? I guess, as long as I don't do it again, there's no real reason for her to know about it. I'll just have to explain to Harry that it was a one time thing.

2 weeks later and everything seems to go back to normal, apart from Harry constantly texting me about how excited he is to see me again. And I still haven't gained the courage to tell him I'm still with Vanessa. Every time I'm about to, he texts me something really sweet or romantic-or sexy. And I get butterflies and want to keep them. I want to keep both of them but I know I can't.

Today is the day that Harry and I are supposed to meet up anyways, I can just tell him now. I'm kind of glad Vanessa suggested a weekend away. A couple days after we made up she said we should just go away together to take our minds off everything that happened. And I mentioned wanting to come to LA this week and she agreed. So we're here now and staying at this fancy hotel that she booked. And I'm an idiot because I just told her I was going out to grab something but really I'm going to see Harry.
I couldn't be more nervous and excited to see him again. 2 weeks felt like way too long.

When I get to where he told me to meet him at, I have butterflies in my stomach just sitting in the car. I know what I need to do, I can't go in there and get lost in his eyes or let him kiss me. I need to tell him we made a mistake-even though I still don't regret it. I know I should but after being with him again, I can't bring myself to feel that way.

I thank the driver and get out, my feet lead me to his door without me even thinking about it. I feel so anxious now, I could vomit. He told me to knock 3 times slowly and then come in. He doesn't want anyone to know he's there so he can't come to the door.

I open the door and am greeted my the smell of something delicious. I can't seem to put my finger on it but it's making me hungry.

"(Y/N)!" He greets me happily as I enter the kitchen. He instantly engulfs me in a hug and I melt into his aroma. Fuck. This is going to be harder than I need it to be. He pulls slightly away from me and presses a kiss to my lips. "I've missed you." He smiles and I nod, trying to regain my voice.

"Hey." I finally say as he pulls away from to get to the stove.

"I'm making your favorite!" He calls from across the room. "Well, at least your favorite from when we were younger." He laughs. My mind shuffled through memories of him making me dinner all the time. He said always made (food you like) his own special way which made me love it more. I haven't had it his way in so long.

"Should be ready soon." He assures me as he turns around, wiping his hands on a towel. "Come here beautiful." He coos and reaches his hand out to me. My mind seems to be on autopilot as I reach my hand out to him, he grabs it and pulls me towards him.

"You're very quiet today." He tells me. How could I not be? I have so many emotions running through me now I can't even figure out what they are.

"Sorry." I try to laugh off my own tension. "Thank you for-this." I gesture to the stove.

"Only the best for my girl!" He exclaims and tilts my head up to press another kiss to my lips.

"About that..." I turn away from him. How will I tell him? How can I allow myself to lose him again? Can I even manage that again? "I uh..." I pause and turn back to face him. His look says it all, he's waiting for me to speak and I need to tell him but I don't have it in me, not yet. "I'm glad we're doing this again-whatever it is." I laugh. He smiles at my words and drops his head to look at the floor.

"It's whatever you want it to be." He explains. I nod my head like I understand but my mind is racing. I can't have it both ways-can I? If I stayed with Harry and dated Vanessa, I'd be cheating on both of them. I can't hurt either of them like this.

"Vanessa came back." I say fast and with my eyes shut, not wanting to see his face.

"Oh, that's great. Did you work things out?" He asks and I open my eyes, taken aback by his words.

"Wait? You're not upset?" I ask, looking over his face trying to find the hurt but there's none.

"No. Why would I be?" He laughs. "Isn't that the whole reason you saw me last time?"

"What about the whole "my girl" thing?" I question, gesturing towards the spot we were just in when he called me that.

"You are my girl, as much as you want to be. Did Vanessa say she loved you or what?"

"Yeah..." I sigh and take a seat on a barstool. Maybe I can have it both ways then. If Harry can understand that I'm still with Vanessa maybe Harry and I can just have a fun casual time?

"That's great love! Now are you hungry?" He asks and I nod. Starving.