Shades Of Styles

He tries to commit suicide part 2

It's been 3 months since Harry tried to jump. At first he didn't talk much, he just sat in the living room drinking and cuddling a blanket. After a while I got him into the bedroom and he stopped drinking and he actually slept. Just a couple of weeks ago I got him to eat. He still isn't talking but he has been going to counseling for about a month now. 

 The boys haven't been doing anything really. They asked for a year off for this. They come by about twice a week to check up on him. His counselor said he is doing better. He doesnt do much there that I know of, but I believe her. She got him to stop drinking, which is good.

At night when I crawl into bed he grabs me and cuddles me all night. I'm really happy for that, it lets me know he still wants me around. I just wish he could talk, I know that whole experience tramatized him but I just wish he could give me a sentence, a word. Just something to know he's still here and apart of the world. 

"Harry, I made dinner!" I call from the kitchen. He comes in, grabs a plate of tacos and goes to the dining room. I grab my plate and follow behind him. "I made your favorite" I smile at him as if everything were fine. He nods and takes a bite. 

"The boys are coming over later. They want to bring a cake for Louis' birthday next week. He's going to be 24! How crazy is that?" I tell him and he nods. "Harry, can you please say anything. Just something. I know, it was a bad time for you...I get that. I'm sorry for that, I'm going through this too. It's sounds selfish I know. But...three months ago, I got a letter from my boyfriend telling me he was going to kill himself and then I watched it almost happen. I spent weeks crying myself to sleep. I guess, I just wish you would help me too." I shrug. He didn't even look at me. Frustrated, I get up to do something I should have done a long time ago. I go into the bedroom and call his mother, I can't believe I haven't told her yet. I thought I could handle this on my own, I thought I could bring him back from the brink without her knowing but three months is long enough. 

"Hi sweetie. How are you" she answers. 

"Not good Anne. I think you should come over. I have something to tell you" 

"Did something happen?" She asks. 

"I think this is something I should tell you in person." I hang up. I go back to the dining room where Harry is still eating. 

"It had to be done" I sigh sitting back down.

After our food is finished and Harry goes back to hiding in our bedroom Anne shows up.

"What's wrong (y/n)? Did something happen with Harry? Where is he?" She says frantically. 

"Calm down. Please take a seat" I say and she does. I sit down next to her and look her in the eyes. 

"You're scaring me, please tell me what's going on." 

"I should have told you this sooner but...about 3 months go" I take a deep breath. "Harry was going through a rough time...it was bad, he..did something that I wish he hadn't. He tried....to commit...suicide" I get out with a sigh. 

"He did what?!?" She shouts standing up. "How could you let this happen? Why didn't anyone tell me?" I'm going to pretend that she didn't just insult me. 

"Anne please sit" I ask. 

"No! Is he still alive? How far did he get? Where is he?" 

"He's still alive...ill tell you where he is if you let me explain everything that is going on. I want you to go in there knowing why" with a huff she sits down and I explain everything that's been going on. The drinking, the therapy, the boys visiting, him not talking. I tell her why he did it, I tell her about the letter and how I got there to stop him. How Paul pulled him off the bridge, why the boys are on a break. 

After I finish, she starts to cry and hugs me. 

"Thank you...thank you for being there for my son. Thank you for stopping him. Thank you so so much (y/n). Where is he. I should talk to him." 

"He's in our bedroom" I point and she goes to the room and closes the door. I hear whispers, then louder talking. Then she starts yelling, then she cries. Something crashes. Then another voice, whispering, mumbles mostly. I know it's Harry. I put my ear up to the door. 

"I'm sorry mum.....I didn't know what else to do" he apologizes, his voice cracking. 

"It's not me that you need to apologize to...your girlfriend and your friends. I wish I was notified sooner" 

"I hate that I did this to her, I wish I would have done before she got there." He says and I gasp. 

"Well you didn't...and it's a good thing Harry. You can't try to kill yourself when something sucks in your life. You're too young to end your life. You still have 60 or so years to live through. I want to beat your wedding, I wanna meet your children. I want to die before you" 

"I said I'm sorry." 

"And I said I'm not the one to apologize to" 

"Okay" he sighs. I move away from the door and go to the living room. 

"Baby..." He comes in. 

"Harry" I ask surprised he's talking, 

"I'm sorry for putting you through this...you don't deserve it" he falls to his knees, his face falling into my lap.

'Its alright Harry"

'Im sorry I wouldn't let you fix me" he begins to cry.

"Im sorry I tried to act like this was my problem too. I love you Harry" I pet his head and cries harder.