Shades Of Styles

He Dies Part 2

Its been 2 years since my finace died. And I never stop thinking about him. Hes in my dreams at night and my thoughts when I first wake up. I don't know what to do. I loved him so much, I love him so much I never take off the engagement ring. 
One Direction broke up after that night. They're still friends...even closer now than ever before they just  feel they can't go on without Harry. 
There was a lot of news coverage over it. Months and months went by, Twitter and News Stations were covered in it. When I went out paparazzi was always on me asking me questions. I could never escape it. Eventually the noise died down, now its only occasionally I'll go out and people will ask me questions. It got so bad I moved in with Niall. He's made it his duty to protect me when I go out. He sleeps with me at night because I always have nightmares. Last month I started therpay to maybe take my mind off of it. I don't see how thats possible. I'm always thinking about it. Visions of him dying there on the floor of that stadium always play in my head. The videos of me freaking out on the fans are all over the internet and I will occasionally get up at night and watch them. But the worst video I have ever seen was Harry getting shot. Its painful to watch but I always end up watching it. When I do I just sit there and cry until Niall gets up and takes me back to bed. 
"(Y/N), ready for bed love?" Niall asks me while I'm in the bathroom. 
"Yes one minute" I tell him as I finish brushing my hair. I go to the bedroom and lay next to Niall. 
"Maybe tonight you won't have any nightmares" he says like he does every night. 
"Maybe" I shrug and close my eyes. 

"I love you" I whisper into his ear as we hug. 
"I love you too" he whispers back. I hear a bang and then Harry drops from my arm to the floor. Hes covered in blood. 
"Harry! NO" I cry falling on top of him. I wrap my arms around his chest and he is cold. I sit up and he looks like a zombie. He smells of dirt and a trash can. 
"Harry come back" I beg shaking him. 
"Harry!!" 

I sit up in my bed and wipe my tears away. Niall is sleeping next to me. I slide out of bed and grab my computer. I go to the living and sit on the couch. I go to youtube and search "Harry Styles dead" . Lots of videos pop up and I find the one that I usually watch. 
I watch as I hug Harry and then the bullet heads straight for him. This was edited to show it in slow motion. I gasp as the bullet goes in to him and start crying. Then I search "Harry and (Y/N)" Theres a video that is labeled. Harry and (Y/N) together forever. I click on it and its a whole bunch of pictures of us and a sad song playing. Then the music stops and theres a video of Harry and I at a Mcdonalds. Harry was recording me whilst I ate. 
"Harry stop it I'm trying to eat" I shove my hand in the camera. 
"Come on babe. Just say hi to the fans" Harry laughs. 
"Fine. Hi everybody." I wave smiling at the camera. 
"Hi" Harry shows his face waving then the video ends. I close my computer and start crying. I do this every night. I cry harder and louder as I remember every thing. My mind replays the day he asked me out and all the fun we had in the 4 years we were together. Niall comes in the room and wraps his arms around me. 
"I want him back Niall." I crying into my hands. "I need him" 
"I know" he kisses my head. 
He picks me up and puts me back in bed. 
"I can't sleep. My dreams are full of that night" I tell him. 
"Come here" He pulls me close. 
"Thank you" I whisper. 
"Your welcome." he smiles. "(Y/N), maybe you should move on. Its been two years. I bet if you do then you'll stop dreaming of it" 
"I can't...I love him to much" 
"I know. We all love and miss him. Its been hard on the boys and I as well. But we managed to move on. Zayn...hes a model now. Liam is an actor along with Louis. And I have been thinking of becoming a new guitarist for 5 seconds of summer" 
"I know Niall. And I'm sorry for holding you back. If you want to leave and go on tour with them go ahead" 
"Thats the thing. I would love to but I can't leave you here still feeling sorry for yourself. Pick yourself up. I know you have watched many videos of that night so I'm sure you remember him saying you have his permission to move on. Find another man. You're young. If you give up now you'll never get married and have kids. I know you want that" 
"I know...." is all I can say. 
"I love you, all of us love you. We don't want to see you like this anymore" 
"I know Niall. You have to understand how hard it is for me" 
"I do understand but you have to move on at some point. Theres guys out there that would love to be with you" he starts rubbing the back of my hand. Without me even thinking my lips are attached to his. He doesn't pull away and kisses me back. What am I doing? Kissing Harry's best friend. I don't know if I want this or its the heat of the moment but I like it. I pull away and look at him. He stares at me before pushing my head back to his lips.