Shades Of Styles

Manipulative (part 2)

No! No! No! She can't leave me. Not now, not when I'm falling apart completely.

"(Y/N), please-don't." I beg her. I know 2 weeks ago we had this exact same fight and she tried to leave me then too, I told her I'd be better. And I have been but how can I trust her if I see he hanging out with a guy?

"No, Harry. I told you, if this happened again-I would leave. So I am." She states. She walks out of the living room and goes to the bedroom. I follow her in, she rummages through the closest and pulls out her luggage and my heart drops. She's never gone so far as to pack.

"You were hanging out with a guy? How do I know you weren't cheating?" I snap at her. This is her fault after all. She shouldn't be hanging out with other guys.

"I told you already, he was just a friend I knew back in high school." She looks up at me for a second, making eye contact.

"That doesn't matter." I nearly laugh at her. "You're being over dramatic anyways." I say, trying to gain some type of leverage.

She stops dead in her tracks, releasing the clothes she just pulled from the closet and looks up at me.
"I'm being over dramatic?!" She shouts. "You've got to be getting me." She shakes her head. "You know what, get the fuck out. This is over, there's you can say to me that will change my decision. I'm so fucking tired of putting up with you. Listening to you bitch about the dumbest shit ever. We're done, Harry. Done." She screams. Ouch. I have to turn this around. She's not going to scream at me.

"Putting up with me? You think you're the one putting up with me? No, I put up with you. I deal with your shit all the time, I'm honestly so tired of you."

"Good. I'm leaving." She finishes stuffing her clothes in her luggage and zips it up, pulling it off the bed. "And I don't remember you saying this when you were wrapped around my legs, begging me to stay with you 2 weeks ago." She reminds me before laughing in my face as she passes by me. Once she's out of the bedroom, I feel the rage coursing through me. I slam the door shut and sit on the bed. 

—1 week later (Your POV)—

The days seem to drag on slower, as they pass by. He calls me every other hour almost. I ignore him every time. I was going to block him all together but I tried it for half a day and realized his phone calls were the only thing reminding me that he was real.
I know this for the better, I don't need anyone to tell me that but my heart still aches for the relationship I once had. Now that I'm away from him, I can only remember the good times we had, the times when I felt loved and cared for. My heart and my brain have seemed to forget why were apart in the first place.

Sleeping is hard, eating is even harder. I find myself staring down at my food with no desire to eat it. It's not just loss of appetite, the absence of even feeling hunger. The actual thought of putting anything into my mouth to eat it, just doesn't appeal to me.
Sleeping is a different story, getting to sleep is difficult in itself but then when I finally do sleep, I end up waking up only a few hours later and can't seem to fall back asleep. I've tried sleeping medicine but it doesn't work, nothing does.
So I spend my days, feeling empty and tired as I sit in my own silence. At least I stopped crying. But I think that's because I just don't have anything left in me.

"(Y/N), come on." My friend and now roommate Haley calls to me. My eyes stayed fixed on the floor where I'm staring at before I look up at her. "I know you can't eat but you need to and drink some water." She orders. I nod slowly and pull myself from the couch.
"It's been a week, you look like you're dying."

"I feel like it." I sigh. She matches my sigh, handing me a cup of water and a sleeve of crackers.

"Why are you so upset anyways? He was bad for you." She reminds me. She doesn't get it, no one ever will. I shake my head before drinking my water in order to not have to speak. There's silence for a minute but then she pulls her phone out.

"I didn't wanna have to do this so early but..." she pauses, scrolling through her phone. "The night you came here, you got super drunk and made me record you something. You told me to show this to you if you ever seemed depressed about your break up." She explains as she turns the phone towards me and I see my drunken self on the screen.

"(Y/N)! Hey! Hey!" I sloppily yell at the phone, as I grip a bottle of tequila in my right hand. I look a hot mess but it couldn't be as bad as I how I am now. "Stop being sad, you dumb bitch! He was manipulating you. He didn't care about you. He just wanted you to be his kicker-kicking-bag. You deserve better! The last...the last thing-he said to you was-was that he was tired of you! So why are you sad over him?! Pull yourself together. He's old news!" I pause to take a gulp of my drink, then I get up and make my way to a phone that's plugged into something. Music in the background gets louder as it plays a song, a rap songs by someone who sings of a break up and how her ex wasn't shit. A song I don't remember ever listening to before. I begin to dance freely around Haley's living room and sing along to the song I've never heard of before. Then I fall forward, towards the phone recording again, take another gulp and say "Don't let that bastard, control you how you feel anymore!" And then I stumble and fall back on the couch and the video ends.

I stare at the phone for a moment before Haley sits it down. I don't remember any of that.

"You made me record that for you, in case you became like this, (Y/N). If you won't listen to me, at least listen to yourself." Haley tells me. I groan and put my head in my hands, some how finding the humor in the fact that I drunkenly made a video to tell myself to get over it,

"Was that a laugh?" She asks, pulling at my hands. I pull my head from my hands and look up at her.

"Delete that." I order and she shakes her head.

"Absolutely not. That pulled something out of you, I'd be an idiot to get rid of it."
I just shake my head, finish my water and go back to my bedroom to sit in my own silence once again. But now it's harder, as my own words float around in my head.