STAR TREK IMAGINES

Commander Spock

"In a way sir, you have chosen to abandon something I have sought after my whole life"

Data's words struck a cord deeper in Spock then he thought at first.
He tried to suppress them, the emotions they made him feel were undeniable which just made it all together worse.
He should never of let them into his heart, he knew that now.
Their sweet touch, a feeling to him now which would've been like heaven, their voice, soothing to his pointed ears, a hug from them, an action so simple and illogical to pine for made him feel weak in the knees.
For 20 years, he didn't think, every Vulcan impulse in his mind seemed to switch off.

One day, you'd decided to visit McCoy, just a routine checkup.
Without really explaining anything, McCoy called Spock, instructing him to hold you tightly as he explained.
Crushed wouldn't describe it, he still carried on pretending as if everything was normal. The affects would be slow, but one day it would render you to nothing.
One day, when you'd had enough, you couldn't carry on.
Bones had a cabin out in the woods on earth, Spock wasn't all to concerned with where, he knew you liked the woods and just wanted you to have peace in your final moments.

A few days later, Spock returned to the old cabin.
Bones was fine with him using it, after a while he just signed the rights over to him.
A thick cloud of dust covered the whole house, but things were the exact way they were before.
Your laughter echoed in his mind, he still held onto your old flannels, the sound of your feet thudding against the floor as you played chase.
It was never something he thought he'd do, something so inherently human.
The Vulcan half of his mind, found disdain when he looked back, knowing that he fully indulged in a side of himself that he swore to hide, yet the regret was only momentary.
When he thought back to your kind words, whenever he asked you philosophical questions, questioning wether or not he was making the right choice, and you still answered with more elegance than some Vulcans he had spoken to.
Even his mother and father visited him more often, knowing how much you loved Vulcan cuisine, Amanda happily brought you some.
She appreciated you greatly, seeing how happy you made her son and that for some time, Spock and Sarek actually got along.

Those 20 years were the best of his life, something he'll never forget.

Coming into the bedroom, he sat down on the edge of the bed, recalling the last night he spent in here.

"I will always be here for you y/n, I promise"
Spock tightly held your hand, carefully interlocking each of your fingers.
Tears spilled from his eyes, knowing you were in your final moments.
It was flat out unfair, the love of his life, the person he would give anything in this whole universe to protect.
Dying, and he couldn't protect you.
"I'm so sorry y/n"
Spock buried his head against your neck, beads of sweat dripping from you skin, it was time for him to let you go but he couldn't.
"Please don't go, I love you"
Spock tearfully cried out, you tried to grip him back muttering
"I'm sorry, Spock I'm so sorry, I love you too"
Your eyes fixated on his, before you went limp.
Falling back to the bed, Spock sobbed, placing your hands back into your lap as he recomposed himself.

The switch in his Vulcan mind switched back that day, going back into life as though nothing had happened.
He tried so hard to pretend that those 20 years never happened.
He never knew he could love someone so much, that he'd forsake everything else in the world just for them.
Your voice was still ever present in his mind, holding his hand,
"Spock you don't need to please everybody... besides i think you're perfect anyway"