STAR TREK IMAGINES

Captain James T. Kirk

A/n: Talks about recovering from depression, insomnia, PTSD and a panic attack in detail please do not read if that is a trigger for you.

Jim carefully pulled the soft blankets up to your neck, knowing you had a tendency to kick them off.
He snuggled in closer, pressing his body to yours, pushing your soft hair back, so he could press small kisses down you neck.
The Morning sun had just begun to peak over the trees, Jim had woken up about an hour before, not that he really wanted to.
He stayed in bed, at first just watching the stars go by, until you turned over pushing yourself in to his side.
He tried to rejoin you in dreamland, but still as the sun rose above the trees, invading the quiet cabin you had moved into not that long ago, he could only admire you as you slept.
His heart would still beat a little faster, as he took mental notes of everything about you.
The pale cherry tones in your lips and cheeks, your lips parted, as your chest and rose and fell.
Everything about you filled his heart with something he couldn't begin to describe, he'd never experienced it before, something a kin to devotion, when you were with him you held his heart and mind in the palm of your hands, and yet he couldn't begin to care.
You'd begun to stir, turning over, your eyes opened slowly adjusting to the light in the room.
Jim had sat up a little bit, but he leant down pressing a kiss to your nose as you woke up.
You smiled back, letting out a quiet hum of contentment.
"Morning"
You whispered, still hoarse trying to find your usual voice.
"Hi darling"
He matched your quiet whisper, before he snuggled closer to you, warmth emanating from your soft skin as your arms wrapped around his neck, happily embracing the man you could call yours.
"What are we gonna do today?"
You asked, your face partially buried against his neck, your e/c eyes turned upwards to meet his, you were more than aware of the fact that you probably looked a hot mess, but Jim couldn't care less, he'd still marry you in a heartbeat.
It was still a marvel to you, that a man like Jim Kirk would be as happy as he seemed with the life you currently lived, not that you hadn't seen your fair share of the same danger he had, but he seemed to revel in, you still remembered the way you'd blush at the cocky overconfident smirk he always had when he was victorious, but later on, it seemed to vanish, until you moved off the ship, it seemed he no longer really had his old confidence.
Jim was slowly becoming himself again, being away from the stress, Jim was finding parts of his soul he thought were lost.
He remembered in the academy, learning of other captains who left for various reasons, he thought then he'd never become one of them, but as his nights became stained with fear, unadulterated terror keeping him awake at all hours of the night, fear for you and the others, he'll screw up soon, and that screw up will be what gets you killed, it'll be the screw up that means he'll be holding Bones through his last moments.
"I've got a couple but I don't think you'd like them"
Jim carefully wrapped his arms around you, practically pulling you on top of him, happily playing with the few strands of your hair that fell in front of your face.
"What're you thinking about?"
You pushed your hands out, resting your weight on your palms before falling back on your side, the tangled blankets around your legs pulling you back to your side.
"Most of it included laying in bed all day"
Jim couldn't help but giggle as your stomach interrupted him, letting out a loud gurgle as you settled back down, the blankets untangled.
"And maybe getting some food"
You both smiled, still not quite getting out of bed yet.
You sat up first, deciding the need for food had finally overtaken the comfort of the bed.
"I'll get food darling, just lay down"
Jim hurriedly got up, making the split second decision he wanted food too.
Walking into the kitchen, Jim scratched his arm as he surveyed his options, going into the kitchen, he popped open a window letting some air come through.
Jim pulled out a pan, going to turn on the stove top, a ship flew over head, freezing him on the spot.
Jim's head began to pound, the whole world becoming a blurring spinning mess, Jim fell backwards, just trying to steady himself as the sound of phaser fire over took him.
You'd shot out of bed the moment you heard the ship, it wasn't super common to hear ships going over head, but accidents could happen.
Jim had curled into a ball on the floor, panting as he anxiously pulled at his hair, trying to calm down.
Gently you pulled him closer to you, whispering assurances into his ear, letting him sob against your chest.
The first time he ever had a panic attack this bad, it blindsided both of you, Jim didn't think his health was this bad and he had never had something with such severity happen before.
Jim still sniffled quietly, but he'd begun to relax again, fear starting to leave his body again, his heart still hurt though, knowing how quickly it all comes and goes, peace can't last forever.
Jim turned his head upwards, pushing your hair back so he could nestle into your neck, taking solace in the fact that he had you, and you had him.
And that wasn't going to change.