STAR TREK IMAGINES

Lieutenant Commander Data

A/n: this character is processing trauma and not feeling good enough, ptsd and depression if that's a trigger for you, please don't read on.

Taking things one step at a time.
That was the worst part, at least in your opinion.
Not that having order was a bad thing, but for once in your life thinking you're good at something and then having someone come in, who only had good intentions suggest that you do things 1 at a time.
That replayed over and over in your mind, you had to keep telling yourself that 'they only had good intentions' as you went back to work.
But hurtful words are impossible to forget.
Even after this person left, they're 'suggestions' on how you should work played over and over again.
You remembered once, a long time ago when your mother sat you down as you worked on your first ever engine, her old Harley.
She did her best to reassure you, telling you not to let the voices get to you, and that you should have faith in yourself.
But as you aged, and the pressure mounting up on you only became greater and greater, those voices only got louder, and no one else was there to help make them stop.
Your grades may not have been perfect at the academy but still your first assignment was on board the enterprise.
And yet still, your mind told you that there was a hint of disappointment in your mothers voice as she forced a congratulations, backhandedly telling your sibling who'd gone into trading
'I'm surprised they even graduated'
By this point though, hiding your sadness was second nature.
Making friends on the ship was easy, but you still compared yourself to others.
In emergencies you always beat yourself up afterwards 'I could've done more'
Then came Data.
Never in all of the universe did you ever think that someone like Data would ever come into your life.

Sitting alone, again.
Everyone else seemed busy or just wanted to be with the people they were close with.
After an attack on the ship, your upper lip was cut up and you felt like you were bruised every where. Upon arrival in sick bay, every bed was full and Dr. Crusher already had enough on her hands.
Sneaking out before you were noticed, you went back into engineering.
A tear fell from the tip of your nose, your throat burned as full on sobs threatened to come up, you'd made close friends with Ensign Bess, she was and always had been very understanding, and she shoved you out of the way of an explosion on the bridge when the attack began, killing her instantly.
A sick feeling wrapped itself around you as the vivid memories of her charred hand reaching out to yourself, played like a broken record. Never to be fixed.
You were so in your own mind, you didn't notice Data had come in looking for Geordi.
"Lieutenant L/n? Is everything alright"
You whipped around in shock, breathing out a shaky sigh of relief upon seeing it was just him.
"Yes, Sir"
"if you are lying because you would like to me leave I would ask that I may be permitted to stay"
"Why?"
"I was recruited along side Ensign Elizabeth, she cared for you greatly"
You nodded, indicating for him to sit.

It seemed unlikely anything would come from an interaction.
Data however, was very insistent about meeting for lunch every day.
You welcomed him into your world, and him with you.
For a little while those voices vanished, he showed you kindness that you'd only felt a few other times before. He was a constant reminder that you deserved loved regardless of your accomplishments, that you were enough.
Every once and a while, they would come back.
Sometimes in waves, that drowned you and knocked you down in ways that you never thought you'd recover from.
Other times they were quiet whispers, things you could push to the back of your mind.
In all of it you never realized that you were slowly developing feelings for the Android, Threads of nothing that quickly became something.
You tried pushing them away, Data saw straight through the act.
He was the one who asked you on a date.
It was a welcome surprise, relaxing some of your stress.
Those voices told you were in trouble already, screwing up the best relationship with someone you've ever had.
It took a lot of strength but you pushed them back, it was one of the best dates you'd ever been on.

Now, as you typed up a report to give to Geordi, you were about to go find him to confirm some of your figures when he found you first.
"L/n, I wanted to talk to you"
"Something wrong sir?"
"Your work is L/n, lately you've been slipping up a lot more, a lot of mistakes like that can cost people lives you know"
"I know sir, I'm sorry"
"I hate doing this to you, you're one of the best engineers I've been able to work with, but I need you to retire to quarters for a bit, until you're able to work again"
"Aye, aye sir"
Getting up with no hesitation, you tried to just walk past everyone, but everyone's eyes were on you, they were just passing glances mostly to make sure you were okay, those within in ear-shot pitying you.
It felt like a century had passed by in the time it took to go to your room.
Sprinting to your stereo, you turned on the first song you saw, turning up the audio louder than you should have, focusing on each word of the song.
Crumpling to a ball on the floor, tears freely flowing down your face, sobs scratching your throat as you still weakly attempted to follow the words.
The music was too loud to notice the door opening, but you soon felt familiar arms wrap around you.
Data stayed still for a moment as you calmed down, waiting until your breaths were steadier until he easily lifted you onto the bed, shutting of the stereo.
He was barely gone for a few seconds before he went straight back to hugging you, his hand softly rubbing circles on your back.
"You shou-shouldn't have left your post for me, I'd have calmed down eventually"
"There are others on the bridge whose duty it is to fill in for me, you are worth more than a post"
He pressed a kiss against your forehead, a small action, simply to tell you that's, that.
"Try to sleep, I will watch over you"
"I love you"
Raising your hand to your chest, you gestures as though you were giving him your heart, and he took hold of your hand and placed it where his heart would be.
"I love you too"