STAR TREK IMAGINES

Captain James T. Kirk

A/n: Mentions of extreme social anxiety and neglect at home please don't read if that's a trigger for you.

The continuous loud beeping on my left woke me up with a start.
Today was either going to go really well or horribly wrong at least from my point of view.
Today, Jim was having me present some of my scientific findings on the bridge to him in front of Bones and Spock.
I'd tried to get out of it, using every reason under the sun to convince anyone I can't do this but alas the day still came.
Part of the whole reason I chose to become a science officer was to work behind the scenes but Jim insisted that I'd be the one to share my findings.
After Bones set us up, Jim and I had an instant connection so we decided to get married just before we had to leave for our five year mission.
As I stood in front of the mirror getting dressed Jim came up from behind pulling me tightly into a hug, even though he'd be there he knew just as well as I did stuff like this pulled out the worst of my anxiety from the deepest depths of my soul.
Like a kid scared of dodgeball, public speaking
Struck a deep fear in me. At home reassurance wasn't common so I always second guessed every word I said.
"It'll be okay y/n, you know me and you've met Spock a few times, you know Bones"
Jim gently whispered before letting go of me, finishing up getting ready to go.
I sat down on the bed and did the breathing exercises Bones taught me.
Not wasting any more time I left the room, trying to ignore the sick feeling in my throat.
I took a deep breath before entering the bridge, going to join Bones and Spock.
"Now that y/n's here let's get started shall we?"
Slowly I started to talk and answer more questions but that same fear crept back to me.
In mere moments once I'd become more and more confident, Sound seemed amplified times 100, my ears rang like crazy as I could barely recognize a few voices speaking
"Are you alright y/n?"
My fight or flight kicked in and I ran out of the bridge, quickly being followed by Bones with Jim trailing behind slowly.
I tried to go to our quarters but Bones and Jim ushered me into the med-bay, sitting me onto a bed, Bones tried to calm me down by gently rubbing my arm, small reassurances but I still felt my head drop to my knees in defeat.
When Bones rested his hand on my shoulder that pushed me over the edge, running out of the room at full speed.
I ran down the hallways that seemed to drag on forever until I got to the Rec room.
Slamming on the button until the door opened running through I struggled, but I shouted at the computer to lock the door.
Stumbling around, I hadn't realised how weak I was, I hadn't eaten or drank anything yet today.
I grabbed a drink from the replicator, I barely made it to my seat holding my head in my hands.
I couldn't even express any more emotions, anger, sadness, anxiety just took over my whole being.
After a little less than an hour of stewing in the pit of my anxiety, the door opened and Jim slowly came in.
I turned my head down and back in his direction, grabbing a drink for himself Jim slid down on the chair next to me, he awkwardly looked between me and his drink before speaking
"I'm sorry about today"
"I'll survive.. I always do"
He continued to talk and I kept responding slowly getting more and more into the conversation.
Jim and I kept talking for so long we lost track of time, He would every once and a while replenish our drinks but other than that we held each other's attention. Jim had gotten up and we were talking about the most recent away mission, Slowly falling back into our conversations about work.
We both turned like frightened animals when the door opened.
"You don't think we're letting you guys sulk alone do you?"
Bones led the entire bridge crew, into the rec room each of them found a place around us, Jim immediately straightened up his Captain reflex kicking in.
I leaned over and kissed Jims cheek when bones settled down next to me, Spock sitting next to Jim. 
Bones let me rest my head onto his shoulder, we all laughed when Jim and Spock looked at each other, and Spock just shook his head no.
"Hey, today's been hard but we'll get through it"
Jim whispered and I nodded sitting up resting our foreheads together. He smiled and I grinned back.
About a hour later I was sipping a drink from the replicator when Jim came back
"Thanks for talking to me today y/n, I think we both needed it"
I could feel Jim 'sneakily' wrap his arm around me, Sitting in front of a window Bones and Spock joined us I looked between my boys with a giant smile on my face.
"The sun will rise, it always will"