Imagine for queenlayla101- Self harm
"I cant contain this anymore.. I got no control, no control", you sung your favourite song which your brother Liam and his friends sing. The song had been dedicated to you by all the boys because of your troubled past and depression recently due to the death of both parents and the hate from all the directioners. "theres still a trace of innocence on the pillow case", you sung, "no control..." the tears escaping your tightly closed eyes whilst the thin razor blade slid across you bare stomach.
Stopping you applied pressure to the fresh cut, slowing down the bleeding whilst relieving yourself of the burning sensation the razor made whilst sliding across your soft pale skin. Trying to live your life as a normal 13 year old just wasn't working out, especially when your older brother is the one and only Liam Payne. Along with both of your parents passing away in a plane crash earlier this year, it was a lot to cope with. And you found the best way to do that, with depression setting in you fell deep and relied on the pain killers and razor blades to bring you back to earth.
It was officially 3 months since you stopped cutting and taking the pain killers all was going so well, Liam and his mates where all so proud of you too. But like before all the depression once again set in...No Control. And all because of one single dumb bitches tweet to you. ~ (username) what a pathetic excuse for a life. No wonder your parents died and your brothers always leaving you. #teamliam #cutforliam. After that tweet millions of so called fans followed, flooding your newsfeed and notifications with these hateful comments and pictures of people cutting them selves up because of Liam having to be your older brother and look after you.
Storming into the bathroom to where you found your brothers new packet of razors stashed away in the corner of the cupboard you stole one. Hiding it in your pants whilst walking back past Liam and the boys who where all playing a game of FIFA, until you got to your room, chucking yourself on the bed and retrieving the razor from your back pocket. Non of the boys even recognising you walked past. The shiny thin piece of sharp steel moved around between your fingers as you admired the sight of the forgotten blade.
"Just once". You said closing your eye whispering into the blade it's self. Stripping your shirt off you sat on the end of the bed facing the mirrored wall looking your body up and down. No you aren't the girl with the perfect smile or flat stomach and thigh gap, instead you have those crooked teeth, along with a little baby bump like belly and chubby legs, but still much more beautiful then those twigs. Laying your eyes back not your stomach was where faded out scars laid from previous butchers, and they where about to be reopened.
Being careful not to spill blood onto the white doña cover of your bed, you cleaned your self. "Just one more", you said in pleasure of cause this was going to happen, of cause you won't be able to stop. The blade kept cutting and ripping thought the previous scars on you stomach, the place no one would see. "Y/n what kink of Pizza do y--", there stood your older protective brother Liam, dumbfounded and frozen at what he was witnessing. "Li are you ok?", the rest of the boys all bombarded into your room after Liam. "What did I tell you?", you sobbed getting angrier and angrier. "Knock before fucking coming in. I hate all of youse. Get out now, GETOUT!", you yelled getting up from the bed and slamming the door shut in their faces.
Now covered in blood, you slipped down the back of the door and cued everything you had out. Maybe I could just end this all, no more worries, and no more trouble for me. Picking up the blade for the last time you brought it down to your stomach, ripping open and cutting deeper then you ever have before. The light faded, blackness taken over. A loud bang brought you back there you laid in Liam's arms, the rest of the boys surrounding you with Harry on the phone. "Hang in there baby girl, I never want to loose you. I've already lost everyone else, I don't want to be by my self." Liam's cold hands pressed deep into your pale scared stomach, applying pressure to the cut.
Not long after the ambulance arrived where you and Liam went in together to the local hospital with the boys closely filling behind in Niall's range rover. After arriving at the hospital you ended up having to get 13 stitches because it was deeper then what everyone though. The doctor came in and suggested to both you and Liam about counselling and also some medication to help with everything that's going on. You passed on the counselling and Liam made you get the medication. And an appointment was arranged for a month ahead, if nothing had improved you would be greeting signed in to a mental institution. When youse all arrived home all 5 ( or 4 what ever you want to say), sat you down to talk to you about what's been going on and worked out ways they could improve everything.
