NOTHING FEELS THE SAME

Chapter 69 ;P

"Hey mate, how's it going?" Mark asked as he pulled Gary into a hug. "Alright thanks Marko" Gary said pulling back from the hug, leading him through to the bedroom. "Hia Rob" Mark waved on his way through the lounge room. "Hey Marky" Rob smiled sipping his tea. Chloe was curled up beside him resting her head on his lap. Sam was sitting on the other side of Rob and she got up and followed them to the bedroom. "Right, so Gary has a few things he needs to get off his back and I thought you would be there for him?" Sam told Mark as Gary sat on the chair in the corner. "Of course, just give us some time?" Mark smiled. "Sure" Sam walked out of the room and shut the door behind her.

"So what's bothering you Gaz?" Mark asked, sitting down on the bed. "I..I don't um, feel real comfortable telling you this" Gary stammered. "Hey Gaz, come sit here," he motioned to the spot beside him. "Remember the good old days? We use to share everything. Now come on, you can tell me" Mark patted his shoulder. "Okay, well ever since I got rescued I've been missing something. I mean, everyday I was there he um... He raped me. Sometimes it would be bad and sometimes it would be, well pleasant I guess, and I just find myself craving that type of sex. It just feels so wrong, and I , feel so dirty but I can't help it. I guess you could say I'm ashamed to enjoy it." Gary buried his head in his hands. "Gaz, there is nothing wrong with that, it's normal. I just hope your not asking me to have sex with you" Mark laughed rubbing his hand on Gary's back. "No you don't need to worry about that." Gary looked up at him, "The other day I went to Ann Summers and, got some stuff for Sam to..... Ah for Sam to use on me. So it's alright, I'm getting what I need. But I feel so terrible for asking her to do it. She shouldn't have to, if we're going to have sex she deserves it to be the proper way, and it should be for her. She had been carting our baby around for 30 weeks now and as much as she tries to hide it, she's really starting to feel it. And because I'm to caught up in my own stupid life, wanting someone to fuck me, I'm not doing what a good husband should, a good father should. I've been to like two of her scans, I'm the worst father ever and our girl isn't even born yet!" Gary sobbed into his hands.

"Eh, come on Gary. You can't just judge yourself like that, you've been through so much these past 7, 8 months. No one expects you to be Gary Barlow the musician and pin up face of the United Kingdom, they understand that you need to be Gary Barlow, husband and soon to be father who is ill and needs love and support from his friends and family to help him" Mark rolled back onto the bed where Gary was now lying and crying. "I just want to be Gary" he cried into the bed.

***

"It's been a good hour since I left them, do you think I should go check they're not going at it?" Sam asked Rob, Chloe was now asleep on his lap. "If you think so, just linger by the door for a bit before you go in." Rob smiled and Sam went and did as Robbie suggested. She placed her ear to the crack in wall and listened. 'Oh great, Gary's crying. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea' Sam sighed and pushed he door open.

"What's happening boys?" She asked. Mark got up out of the bed where he was laying under the covers cuddling Gary and walked to Sam, "I think you should talk to him now, ima go see Rob. Yell out if you need me" Mark left the room. Sam went and slipped in the bed beside Gary, who was now just wearing his boxers. "Babe, what's wrong?" She asked massaging her hands into his arms. "I told him, just like you asked" Gary sniffed.

**a/n strange ending I know, but I'm about to drop my iPad on my face I'm so tired (and that hurts) but please leave feedback :) jeeeessss @jessicalouiseTT**