NOTHING FEELS THE SAME

Chapter 84

No, please be asleep. I carry Lily into our room, cautious as I walk through the door. I'm expecting to see Sam packing a bag. But she's not. She's lying in bed. Sleeping like an angel. I sigh, I still might have a shot at this. I place sleeping Lily down in her cot at the end of the bed and shed my clothes before sliding in bed next to Sam. I wanna move real close and pull her towards me. But I feel dirty, I can still taste Rose's tongue in my mouth. Screw this, I think. It could be my last opportunity to hold her. I shift in the bed and wrap my arm around Sam's stomach, pulling her in close. Moving her hair to the side I place a soft kiss on her cheek "Im sorry" i whisper, before falling back against the pillow and closing my heavy eyes.

**

Sam's pov

I try stay still as I hear Gary enter the room. I don't know how I've managed not to shed a tear. I near him put Lily down then climb in behind me. I try not to stiffen as he pulls me in to him. I know he's done something, but I don't know what. I can't judge him off that right? He said he was going to tell me, he said he loved me. I know he's not going to do anything that might harm our relationship. He's better than that. After I hear him softly snoring behind me I let myself drift off to sleep.

*

"Gary" I nudged him awake in the morning as the sun pours through the crack in the curtains. He moans and slowly opens his eyes, they are red and puffy. Was he crying last night?

He just looks at me. Staring right at me with his big eyes. I can tell he's biting the inside of his lip trying not to cry. "What is it Gary?" I ask him gently. "I'm sorry" he burst out, burying his head in the pillow and crying his heart out. When he turns his head I can see it. "What's this?" I ask running my hand across the small but defined mark on his neck.