NOTHING FEELS THE SAME

Chapter 87

"Sam baby?" I kneeled on the bed beside her, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "Mmmm Gary" she groaned trying to turn over. "Sam, we need to talk." I insisted, forcing her to look at me. "What's wrong?" She asked looking up at me. "You need to take some antibiotics, you've got an infection in your uterus." "What? But I had Lily 5 weeks ago, I should be fine" she protested. "Yeah well, the fact is you've got it. Now here's the medication and a glass of water" geez barlow, could you have been any harsher? "What's wrong Gary?" Sam asked taking the glass from me. "What aren't you telling me?" I looked away, I didn't want her to see the tears forming in my eyes. "The infection, it ah, might have spread" I bit down on my lip and continued to look away. "To where?" Sam pushed. To the the point then "Sam, if the infection is to bad, we might not be able to have any more kids." I worded as nicely as I could.

Sam's pov

What, but we haven't actually even had a baby on our own before. "But, but" my lip trembled as I tried to form words. "That's not fair" I reach forward to pull Gary down to me. It might sound stupid but feeling his warm body makes me feel better. He wraps his arms around me and I bury my face in his chest, his natural smell soothing me.

I'm surprised that I'm not crying. I guess after everything that's happened I'm through with crying. "Gary" I whisper pushing him away from me. He looks sad, really sad. His eyes are red rimmed and he's got the snuffles. "It's okay Gary" I look at him with sad eyes, reaching out I run my hand across his cheek and against the stubble. "Sam, it's not okay" he shook his head and I caught a wet tear as it fell from his eye. "It's not what we planned, okay. It's not fair but be happy we have a child." I smiled at him as the tears continued to fall. "Some people don't even get one baby Gary. I know we wanted more but if we can't have them, that's life. Granted a shit piece of bull life, but we'll do it. We have Lily" I pulled him back towards me, this time he hid his face in my neck. "I have all this money right, and there is nothing I can do!" He cried against me. "I know" I rubbed my hand over his back as he fell asleep.

**

Gary's pov

After what feels like a lifetime I wake up on top of Sam. Jesus I must be crushing her! I move off her and retreat out of the room. Walking out I see Robbie playing with Lily. "Everything alright Gaz?" He asks when he sees me. "Mmmm" I groan as I slump into the couch. "What's up mate?" He asks, turning his attention to me causing Lily fight for his attention. "It's nothing" I shake my head, watching him with Lily. "I've got some news" he smiles. "Oh really?" I ask, not really interested. "Ellie said me and Chloe can move back home." "Oh that's great!" I try to be enthusiastic. "Yeah, she said we can go whenever we like so we're gonna head back this afternoon" he tells me. "Well I'm sure Lily's going to miss you" I tease. "Hope you will too!"

***

That night

"Sam do you wanna come out and watch a movie?" I sadly ask her. She's spent almost all day in her room, only coming out to say goodbye to Robbie and Chloe. And don't even start me on Lily. I swear she's pooped her pants like 100 times today, and I've had to change every single one of them! "Sure, what movies have they got?" She gives me a false smile. "I think I saw Star Wars on blue ray?" I raise my eyebrow asking permission. She sighs and rolls her eyes "Fine" she says, but I see the beginnings of a true smile form on her lips.

Lying on the couch Sam lays in my lap and Lily is beside us in her cot. "Night guys" Ellie calls as she heads to her room. "Night El!" I call but she's already gone. "Is it just me or has she seemed a little distant lately?" Sam whispers. "I dunno" I shrug and press play, fully aware that I still haven't told Sam what happened in the club.

Just as the pod race is about to begin I look down to Sam. She's asleep, bless her. Selfish as it is, I want to finish the movie so I reach for the remote and turn the sound down, placing my hands on her shoulders.