NOTHING FEELS THE SAME

Chapter 5

Gary and Sam lay in the bed. Gary had a t shirt on and his dressing gown wrapped around him. "I know this may seem like a stupid question, but how are you doing?" Sam stroked his freshly shaven face, he looked so much younger without hits beard. "Sam, I'm petrified, I'm in so much pain, I've lost so much dignity, I can't bear to be alone, I feel so sorry for myself, how can you still want me?" "Gary, I love you. Nothing is going to change that, you will get better, and I'm going to be there the whole time" she leaned forward and kissed his lips, he slightly opened his mouth. He was much more held back than normal. "Alright Gaz, it's late enough, you take those pills and go to sleep. I'll be here till you fall asleep, if you wake and need anything or if your scared just scream out and I'll be here, ok babe?"

Sam went down stairs and heated some leftovers for tea. She made herself a cup of tea and went an put the telly on. After a while a news update came on 'Lead singer of one of the greatest British boybands has reportedly been sent to hospital after been found at the back of Abbey Road Studios. Gary Barlow is believed to have been pack raped' This is bullshit! Sam turned the tv off and went upstairs to check on Gary, he appeared to be sleeping comfortably so she grabbed a book and headed back down.

She had read for about an hour, she had checked on him once in that time. Gary stared scream ing from upstairs. She got up and ran to him. "What is it babe?" "Can you come to bed please? I don't like being up here by myself" "sure, I'll just go turn the lights off, I'll be back in a second."

Minutes later she returned and crawled in beside Gary. He wrapped himself around her and she did the same to him. "Goodnight Gary, love you" "love you too."

Sam woke in the morning and rolled over to face Gary. He was shaking and sweating. "Gary what's wrong!" He was looking down the bed. She pulled back the covers and saw something pressing the fabric of his nappy. 'Oh, he's hard' "Gary, listen, it ok. There is nothing wrong with that, it's normal, please calm down baby." "I- I'm going to be sick" he got out of bed and hobbled to the toilet. Sam was right behind him. Rubbing his back and running her hand through his hair. When he was done, she passed him a glass of water which he slowly sipped.

They made their way back to bed. Gary laid down and faced away from Sam. "Look at me please Gary" he turned over and was crying uncontrollably. She pulled him close and he buried his head on her shoulder. She cried for ages till he eventually fell asleep.

When she could, Sam crawled out from Gary and walked downstairs. She sat on the couch and curled up into a ball. She just started crying. She couldn't tell him that she heard everything, that as he lost his phone he dialled her number. She was the reason he was found so quick. He didn't need that burden.

She hated seeing him like that and it broke her heart. She cried and cried some more. What seamed like ages later, she heard the front door open and instantly panicked.

Till Gary's mum walked in and stopped when she saw the state Sam was in.