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Josephine finds herself caught in the constant shuffle between her dorm and Helena's over the past few days, and with March settling in, she can't shake the feeling that her mind is playing tricks on her again.
Her attendance in classes is sporadic at best, even missing the last two days. The cycle is becoming tiresome.
Today, however, marks a change. Despite being late for her second class, Josie resolves to break the pattern, pushing herself out of bed with a determined sigh.
A brief moment of self-reflection in the mirror reveals a worn-out version of herself. She admits to neglecting meals lately, absentmindedly picking at her nails before gathering her bag and heading out.
The weariness lingers as she leaves the common room and starts navigating the hallways. Her tardiness seems to matter less and less, and just as she ponders this, a figure comes rushing down the hall. Josephine instinctively sidesteps, allowing the girl to pass.
"Josie!" Mary exclaims, panting heavily. Concern etches across Josie's face, she takes a step forward.
"Are you alright?"
"Regulus broke off his engagement."
Time seems to freeze. "What?" Josie's voice echoes her disbelief.
"He broke it off with that girl," Mary clarifies. Josie's throat tightens, and Mary reaches for her hand. "You need to go to him."
Despite her brain resisting the idea, Josie nods slightly. "What about—"
"Forget about our arrangement," Mary interrupts. "You love him. At least talk to him about it."
"Are you sure?" Josie questions.
Mary smiles and nods. "Go to him, Josie. But don't forgive him immediately."
"Trust me, I'm not," Josie affirms, determined not to let him off easily.
Mary embraces her, and though Josie isn't keen on physical contact, she reciprocates. "I hope we can continue to be friends," Mary whispers.
"Of course," Josie replies, breaking the hug a moment later. "Go," Mary encourages with a laugh.
Forcing a smile, Josephine sets out to find Regulus, emotions churning within her.
~~~
Where the fuck is Regulus?
Josephine traverses countless Hogwarts hallways by now, and exhaustion is setting in. The thought of attending class briefly crosses her mind, but she quickly dismisses it. No, she needs answers. Why has he chosen this moment to end it?
With a frustrated sigh, Josephine forcefully closes an abandoned classroom door behind her. To her surprise, Regulus stands on the other side, as if he has just arrived. Their eyes meet, and he speaks with a nervous tone, "I've been looking for you."
His trembling hands don't escape her notice. "You broke off the engagement," she replies, her voice eerily neutral, almost as if she is shielding herself unconsciously.
Regulus glances down and nods. "I did."
Sensing the need for privacy, Josie gestures toward the door. Without a word, she opens it and leads the way back into the empty classroom. Regulus follows, closing the door behind him. Facing each other, Josephine wastes no time in questioning him.
"Why?" she asks, frustration evident in her voice. "Why now did you break it off? I mean..." She falters, unable to complete her sentence. Why subject her to weeks of pain only to end it like this?
Regulus takes a step closer, revealing vulnerability. "I thought...I thought I could force myself to be what my parents wanted. But I realized that I can't."
Unspoken words linger in the air, leaving a heavy silence between them. Josie looks down at her hands, shaking her head slowly. "That's..." She picks at her nails before lifting her head to meet his gaze. "It's not fair. You put me through weeks of agony just to do this now? It's..."
Tears well up in her eyes, and she hates the vulnerability. She tries to wipe them away hastily. "I know it's not fair," Regulus admits, his voice low. "I'm sorry."
"Fuck your apologies," she retorts, a mix of anger and pain in her voice.
She despises the way he flinches in response. Hates how he seems almost too accepting of her anger and distress.
She can't understand it, and if there is one thing Josephine detests the most, it is not understanding something. The feeling makes her feel inadequate.
Regulus remains silent as she approaches him. "Fuck you and your stupid apologies," she spits out, her frustration boiling over. His expression doesn't put up its usual defenses; instead, it seems to allow her to penetrate, allowing the hurt to show.
"Why did you do this? Why play along? What suddenly made you come to your senses?" She demands answers, but Regulus remains wordless.
"I've forgiven and understood people's actions my whole life," she confesses, the truth ringing in her words. With a break in her voice, she continues, "I'm tired of getting hurt and forgiving people, Regulus."
His gaze shifts to her hands, still busy picking at her nails. Then, he looks up, and the sight of tears in her eyes seems to shatter his entire demeanor.
Yet, she refuses to let him feel sorry for her. She doesn't want his sympathy. If anything, she wants him to be angry, to build those defensive walls back up and lash out at her.
Now, she feels cruel for doing this. Cruel because, for once, she isn't willing to forgive. Cruel because she is choosing to fight back.
"I need a better fucking reason for why you've decided this now," she demands, her heart feeling like it's cracking once again. She loves him, so why is she being so harsh?
Regulus holds his gaze on her before he finally speaks, "I no longer want to do what my parents want me to. I've followed their expectations my entire life, and I realized—" He abruptly cuts himself off. "I'm sorry," he repeats, his apology hanging in the air.
This passive response grates on her nerves. She despises the lack of resistance, the fact that he allows her to inflict pain.
"I don't forgive you," Josie declares, taking a small step back. His eyes track her every movement.
"I understand," he replies with calm acceptance.
A heavy silence settles between them. Josephine inhales deeply and brushes past him, leaving the room.
The desire to return, to forgive him, claws at her, and she loathes the internal struggle tearing at her resolve.
