USWNT Oneshots

Unintended Consequences

The plan was underway. We all knew that Carli Lloyd and Hope Solo had a thing for each other, but we just needed them to admit it. "They're coming!" Kelley O'Hara hissed. "Get ready!" we all rushed to our places, and as Carli and Hope came down the hallway, we pushed them into a closet and locked the door. One of them, probably Hope, banged on the closed door. "You all better let us out of here!" her muffled voice yelled from inside the closet. "Oh, we will!" my sister, Abby Wambach, said. "You just need to tell us what's going on between you and Carli first!" "There's nothing going on between us!" Carli's voice yelled, also muffled by the door. "Sure there's not!" Pinoe said. "That's why you two have been cuddling all week." "Shut up, Pinoe." Hope said. "Abby, let us out!" "Not until you tell us what's been going on." Abby said, grinning broadly. There was momentary silence, and I could picture Hope's ice blue eyes glaring at the door. "Never." Hope said. "Then I guess you can stay in there forever." Abby said. There was some whispering behind the door, then Carli spoke. "Fine. You win." she said. "We're dating." Hope said. "KNEW IT!" Tobin yelled. "Shut it, Heath!" Hope growled. "Now let us out!" "Fine." Abby said, opening the door. Hope and Carli came out, and Hope grabbed me, slung me over her shoulder, and ran with me to her and Carli's room. I heard the click of the lock that meant that the rest of the team couldn't get in. "GUYS!" I yelled. "SOMEONE HELP! PLEASE!" "Hope!" Abby's voice came through the door. "Let her go!" "If you want her back, you're going to have to come in here and get her yourself!" Hope yelled. She grinned at me. "Nothing personal, Squirt." she said. "You were just the closest to the door, so you were who I grabbed. You're also a good deal smaller and lighter than the other girls, so you were an easier target." "No hard feelings!" I said, grinning back. "I know we're like sisters, so you wouldn't do anything to hurt me." "I didn't think you'd mind all that much." Hope said. "You're our hostage now, though, so you're going to have to look the part." she took three bandannas out of her bag. She used the first one to tie my hands behind my back, the second one to tie my ankles together, and the third one to gag me. "There." she said. "Perfect."

Abby's P.O.V.

"I should've known something like that was going to happen." I said, facepalming. "Now what do we do?" "You remember when Tobin and Thalia were 'kidnapped' in Canadia?" Alex asked. "How could I forget, Baby Horse?" I asked. "Good point." Alex said. "But anyways, you remember the Nerf guns that Coach gave us for the 'rescue'?" "Yeah." I said. "And?" "Well, she might still have those." Alex said. "And the front desk doesn't make you show your ID when you ask for a replacement room key." Tobin added. I grinned. "Perfect." I said. "Let's do this!" we went to Coach first. "Yes, ladies?" she asked. "What do you need?" "Well, we'd noticed that Carli and Hope were doing more cuddling than they usually do lately, so we decided to do a classic move to find out whether or not they were dating, and we locked them in a closet until they confessed." I began. "So, they did eventually confess, but when we let them out, Hope grabbed Thalia and took her to their room, and now we need to get Thalia back, so we were wondering if you still had those Nerf guns from that one scavenger hunt in Canadia." "I do." Coach said. "Can we borrow them?" I asked. Coach sighed, then smiled. "I suppose." she said. She brought out the assortment of plastic weapons. "Good luck." she said. "Thanks, Coach." I said as we armed ourselves. "Not a problem, Abby." she said. "Alright. Everyone got a gun?" I asked. Everyone nodded. "Then to the front desk!" I said. We walked up to the front desk. "May I help you?" the receptionist asked, looking up at me. "Yes." I said. "One of our friends left her room key in her room, and she's too lazy to get it herself, so she asked us to go down and get a spare for her." "What room number?" the receptionist asked. "224." I said. The receptionist handed me a key card. "Thanks." I said. "No problem." the receptionist said. "Let's go!" I said. We all ran upstairs to Hope and Carli's room. I knocked on the door. "Come on, Hope!" I said. "Let her go!"

Thalia's P.O.V.

"Nope!" Hope said, grinning at me. She had a Nerf gun in her hands, as did Carli. "Come in and get her yourself!" I was sitting on a chair, bound and gagged. "You asked for it!" Abby said. The door opened, and all hell broke loose. The rest of the team also had Nerf guns, and they rushed in. Carli was shot in the stomach, and she collapsed. Hope dropped to her knees by the midfielder's side. "Tobin!" Abby yelled. "Free the squirt! Arod, Cheney, cover her!" Tobin rushed over and untied me. "Thanks, Tobs!" I said. Tobin grinned. "No problem!" she said. There was a shout from the other side of the room, and we saw Abby pinned to the wall by Hope, who had a tiny Nerf gun against my older sister's temple. There was mock fury in Hope's bright blue eyes. "You killed her!" the goalkeeper snarled. "You killed Carli! I'll kill you!" "If I die, will the fighting stop?" Abby asked. "Yes." Hope said. Abby raised her hands in surrender. "Then do it." she said. "No!" I yelled. "Abby!" "Tobin, restrain her." Abby said. Tobin put her arms around me, keeping me from rushing Hope. Hope pulled the trigger, and Abby fell to the floor, "dead". Then, both she and Carli got up, grinning from ear to ear. "So, everything's even?" Abby asked. "Yup." Hope said. "Truce?" Pinoe asked, sticking out her hand. "Truce." Carli agreed, shaking it. "Truce exists until you lock us in the closet again." Hope said. "Then it's back to war." we all laughed.