"HELLO SUNSHINE!" Caspar sang loudly into his laptop. I groaned and turned the volume down on my laptop. It's like 10AM and I only slept at 2AM but Caspar decided to annoy me and call me REALLY early.
"What the fuck do you want?" I mumbled into the screen covering my face with my bed sheets so he could only see my eyes.
"OKAY LISTEN HAZEL! Do NOT swear to your cousin!" Caspar practically shouted. At first I was scared but then I saw Caspar break into a smile so groaned again and let out a small giggle, ew I hate giggling...it's so....girly? "I'm kidding Haz!"
"I know, I know." I said back at him smiling. This was the happiest I have felt in a while. I have seriously just been binge watching a playlist of every single one of Troye's videos from the beginning of his channel and lemme tell ya, it gets REAL fetus!
"Caspar...how is Joe and Brit?" I asked changing the subject. Caspar's face softened but fell into a sad sort of tone,
"Um, f-fine. Why?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked down fumbling my fingers together.
"Hazel...please...tell me what's wrong..." Caspar always knew when I'm sad. He may treat me like a 2 year old rather than a 20 year old sometimes but he does get me. I sighed before replying.
"Me and Joe kind of kissed and stuff- you know before I left - but he suddenly seemed to.. forget" I felt tears in my eyes so I quickly looked away.
"that little..."
"No, Caspar it's- it's fine" I said back to him, in a way I don't blame Joe. I know how easy it is to forget things. There's something only Caspar and my parents know, I don't let people know this...
Flashback...
"Honey...Jessica...she..." my mum started to cry my eyes widened at the mention of Jessica's name.
"W-what?!" my mum just kept crying. "MUM?! What?! WHAT HAPPENED TO JESSICA?" I screamed. Jessica is my everything, she helped me through everything. And I, in returned, helped her through everything.
"She, she cut herself" I already knew Jess cut, I helped her through it, she said she stopped though... "She cut herself so much, the blood. She lost too much blood Hazel..." I couldn't process this new information. I couldn't even cry I just held myself. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry SO bad. But for days no tears formed but just a constant pit in my stomach telling me 'You could have helped her' 'you should of saved her'
I swatted the thoughts away by screaming at the top of my lungs
"NO!"
"GO AWAY!"
" LEAVE ME, I COULDN'T HELP JESSICA!"
End of Flashback...
I didn't realise it but I had tears streaming down my face.
"Jessica...oh no, NO. Please, please Hazel listen to me. Don't think about that." I suddenly felt very easily aggravated.
"What do you mean?! SHE DIED, CASPAR, BECAUSE OF ME!" I screamed, thank god my parents were out. "I- I should have been with her. I should have stayed.." I almost whispered the last part. Whenever I see scars from self harm on ANYONE get annoyed because she died from cutting.
"I'm sorry Hazel...I didn't mean to"
"No, I-I... bye" I quickly end the call and collapse onto my bed before getting up and finally getting into some decent clothing.
Caspar had messaged me like 10 times I had like 5 texts from Joe and millions of missed calls from them both.
I turned my phone off and left it to charge as I looked at myself in the mirror.
I had big bags under my eyes from where you could tell I have late nights. My eyes were a little bit blood shot from crying and the large amount of dust stored in my room. I rubbed my eyes before quickly putting on some mascara, that's all.
When I decided I finally looked a little bit OKAY to go out. I grabbed my coat and went on a walk...
A/n: Okay so this was gonna be short just because you guys are bugging me (but I do appreciate it) but it turned out to be long and the friend thing you'll find out more later on ;) but it is really sad and I didn't really realise but I think this is quite good tbh but idkk.
QOTC: Who's YouTuber book is your favourite?
QOTCA: Probably Alfie's or Zoe's
Comment: I ATE ASHTON'S HAIR LAST NIGHT : if you saw this
And if you know who that is then tell me and I AM PROUD
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Caspar's Cousin (Joe Sugg Fanfiction)
FanfictionGrowing up with Caspar as your close living cousin is...amazing. He looks after you. He comforts you. He is there when no one else is. One thing that's the problem, He treats you like a kid... Hazel lived close to Caspar all her...
