Caspar's Cousin (Joe Sugg Fanfiction)

Chapter 74 - Explaining

A/n: this is written on my phone since it's kinda late here and I don't want to wake my family up with my typing. Enjoy :-)

Hazel's POV

"Hey Haze?" Joe collapsed onto the coach next to me.
"Yeah?"
"You never properly told me about your parents...if you don't want to tell me that's fine"
"Oh uhm, yeah I'll tell you.." Joe took my small hand into his. "So basically my dad was an alcoholic like you know.." I tried to swallow the large lump in my throat. "And my parents would argue when my dad drunk. He would slur his words and act like he knew everything. Before you ask, no he never hurt me or my mum. I was still afraid as a kid but I guess I grew up to learn how to deal with it. Blast my music. Play YouTube videos. I would get out the house as much as I could but when Jess die-passed.. I only had Lily and Lily was always 'busy' but she wasn't. She just didn't want to hang out with me in public but then again no one did...Uhm I'm getting off track but yeah once I caught my dad in the garden smoking in the dark.."
*flashback*
I slid the patio door open with all my strength. A strong smell of smoke hit me straight in the face. My eyes squinted to adjust to the darkness that was closing in on the evening. Stars poked through the dirty looking clouds. I saw a reddy orange tip light up. I scrunched my small eye brows together in confusion. As I inched outside to try and get a better look at the figure I realised soon enough that was my father. And the smoke that had hit me in the face was coming from the reddy orange tip. "Daddy?" My dad quickly swivelled around to look at my small body.
"Hazel! Go back inside.." My dad slurred every word that left his mouth. His finger pointed lazily towards the wide open door. Tears prickled my eyes as i realised this isn't my dad, this is drunk dad not my dad. I turned my back on him and ran inside, finally letting all the tears fall down my face at a rapid speed.
"Hey what's wrong sweetheart? Where's your father?" My mum asked me in confusion.
"I-in the garden. He's s-smoking mummy.." I sobbed. My mum's face scrunched up in an unidentifiable expression. It may have been anger or maybe sadness or even confusion. However, my mum sent me to my room and stormed outside. I made my way into my room and wrapped myself in the covers. I quickly heard the shouts of my parents again as they made their way inside. I shoved the pillow over my face and covered my ears. "One day I'm gonna leave this place, one day I won't have to cry every weekend...one day I'll have a Prince Charming who will kiss me goodnight and make me forget my horrible family." I whispered to my 6 year old self with tears falling down my face. When I was home I was afraid. I wasn't afraid of my parents I was afraid of crying. Crying is my worse habit but I can't help it...
*end of flashback*
Joe's thumb wiped the tear from under my eye. I told him the whole story. From start to finish. My exact words that stuck in my head all these years.
"I'm sorry babe, I shouldn't have asked.."
"No I'm glad you did. You deserve to know..and when we have a kid I'm never letting it have the same awful experiences I had." I looked Joe directly in the eyes. He nodded and kissed my hand lovingly.
"Are you okay baby?" Joe asked me. I was just looking down at my  engagement ring.
"Yeah...I'm just glad I found my Prince Charming who kisses me goodnight and helps me forget my horrible family" I let out a sad laugh. The kind where you've been crying but you still try and laugh. The worst , most fake , kind of laughter....

A/n: So I cried when writing this again, fuck. My day was going great till now but uhm yeah how was your day? Ps. I go back to school on Wednesday pray for me fam.
THERE WILL BE SOME MORE FLASHBACKS INCLUDING JESS SO YEAH.

QOTC: How are you when you're reading this?

QOTCA: Angry and sad, you know - the usual :-)

Remember I love you :-)