Caspar's Cousin (Joe Sugg Fanfiction)

Chapter 23 - Close As Strangers

A/n: HOLY SHIT GUYS I HAVE JUST HAD LIKE 10 OF THESE SUPER SOUR CHEWING GUM THINGYS AND LIKE THEY TASTE LIKE FRUIT THEN THEY LOSE FLAVOUR SO I HAVE A NEW ONE BUT MY JAW HURTS SEND HELP #SaveMyJaw ALSO LISTEN TO THE SONG ABOVE

After me and Lily's "little" fight we haven't spoken since. To be honest I don't really give a crap because she was a waste of space in my opinion. 

My life hasn't been exciting. I usually it around, text my cousin, watch YouTube, listen to music and sleep. wow Hazel, you're so fucking exciting. Oh! I forgot to mention, these little mean ass bitches , I like to call my demons , have come into my head. Every time I say or do something they say a come back or laugh and I'm so sick of it. 

I plugged my phone into the speaker and scrolled through my ALL SONGS playlist, my finger landed on Close As Strangers by the lovely Australian lands in a band called 5 Seconds Of Summer. My head started to rock back and forward as I scrolled through Twitter on my laptop.

oh, everyday. 

You feel a little bit further away. 

And I don't know what to say

My head stopped rocking and I listened closely to the lyrics.

Telling you I haven't seen your face in ages

Feels like we're as close as strangers

Won't give up, even though it hurts so much.

Every night I'm losing you in a thousand faces...

My eyes squinted in realisation. These lyrics reminded me of him. But to be honest, it's not a new feeling to me. Everything reminds me of him. Just him. I don't know why I always feel like this, I know I shouldn't but...Me and Joe, we're as close as strangers.  As the song carried on I told myself not to give up, that maybe Joe is thinking of me too....

I sighed as I paused the sad ass music and opened my contacts. I spend a lot of time just hovering my finger over the small call button but I eventually plucked up the courage to press it...No I'm lying my finger got tired and fell on top but let's go with the first excuse. 

"Hello?" Joe said into the phone...He doesn't know who I am. Fuck, I mean he clearly didn't even save my contact..My breathing hitched and a lump formed in my throat. I tried to open my mouth to speak but nothing happened. Joe sighed before hanging up, well that was a bust. I squeezed my eyes shut before scratching the top of my head and playing with my hair.I rubbed my eyes in a sleepy manor and shook my head. Why are you so dumb? He. Has. A. Girlfriend. He doesn't like you!  There are the voices again. My hands began to shake as the voices kept replaying in my head. I put my hands behind my head in anger. Suddenly the voices went silent. oh no. When they go silent they plan things, when they plan things I-freak-out. They honestly drive me INSANE! 

I rubbed my temples to try and get rid of my pounding head ache. I ran over to my shower and stripped down before turning my shower on and hopping in. I directed the hot, steaming water onto my neck. I sighed as I let the water take over my body and the steam fill the bathroom before hopping out and going on my laptop again. I scrolled through loads of movie options before picking Mean Girls because everyone talks about it but I've never actually seen it. 

I quickly ran down the stairs and grabbed a snack for myself, because I'm greedy, and got a can of coke, once again because I'm greedy, before running back up the stairs into the comfort of my room. I placed my food and drink down before looking at my phone.

1 New message: Joe <3

I should really change that....