Body Language. Queen

Please Don't Go...

Freddie's P.O.V.

I couldn't break my stare away from him. I felt cold. Panicked. Confused.

Loved me?
How can that be?

We were barely a couple back then. We were far from faithful. It wasn't a relationship. How could he love me when we were both sleeping with multiple other people whilst we were still seeing each other, and we knew about it. And we were okay about it.
It's impossible.

Loved. Past tense. He didn't anymore.

I licked my dry lips and took a few good gulps of my champagne.
He was searching my face for a reaction or an answer.

"Y-you can't have..." I whispered.

He raised an eyebrow, "I'm pretty sure I did."

"No."

"Yes."

"How?"

"Because I fell for you. I was distraught when you were going on tour and I was called to another job. When I knew I would never see you again I didn't really want to carry on without you. I know we were sleeping around but the only one I ever wanted to come back to was you."

His face was serious, as were his eyes and his voice. But I still refused to believe that he had fallen in love with me.

"It's not like...w-we ever had anything real..." I cowered.

"Maybe not to you. But I fantasised about being with you my whole life."

"And still sleep around with other people behind my back? I don't believe you, Rory. I'm sorry, I just don't see how you could still love me after I slept with other people at the same time I was seeing you. And you were having sex with other people too, I clearly wasn't on your mind all the time when you had me." I said, sadly.

"What are you saying?" He sounded a little outraged.

"What I'm saying is, I don't think you loved me. I think you're mixing you're feelings up. You just missed me, missed having sex. Missed being mischievous and having amazing times. Because once I was gone you had to go back to reality. Like you said last night, you missed my dick more than you missed me. You never loved me, Rory, you just thought you did because you were missing me. And don't worry, I know what you mean because I felt the same way. I missed you terribly but time healed me, just like it did you. So don't fucking play that love game with me because with the way my life is going right now I'm likely to fucking implode." I warned, getting a little angry.

He sat back and stared with wide eyes at me. He kept silent and the atmosphere was terribly awkward. I put my champagne glass on the table.

"I ought to go." I mumbled, standing up.

I made my way to the door and felt his hand tug me back, he span me around and his face was really close to mine.

He was taller than me, something I had particularly liked about him back then.

"Please don't go..." he whispered, holding onto my waist now, slightly pulling me into him. "At least let me cook for you. And then you never have to see me again if you don't want to."
He put his forehead on mine but I backed away.

I was slightly trembling, nerves, anger and panic all in one. I didn't trust him but the least I could do was let him make me food. I was here now.

"Alright...and then take me home." I said, hushed.

Over dinner we sat at his little table and made small talk, it was still awkward, I still wasn't hungry but tried to force down as much as I could.

"Y'know, all that time we were together...I never kissed you." He smirked a little, swilling his orange juice about his glass.

I almost choked on my mouthful of pasta and eventually glanced up at his playful expression.

A sudden hot flush had come over me, was I really that obvious even back then? That I didn't want to kiss him? I still had my 'no kissing rule' in place as of right now but had it really bothered him that much to bring it up 4 years later?

"I didn't?" I lied.

He shook his head, "No. You didn't. What was it? Don't like my lips?" He teased.

I was trying my best to hide my reddening cheeks and just shrugged.

"Let's kiss now. To make up for it." He was edging closer across the table and I forcefully swallowed down the food in my mouth.

"Let's not." I cowered.

"Fuck, Freddie. You're playing so hard to get." He flopped back down into his chair.

I needed to get out of here. I felt as if I was on the verge of a panic attack.

"I have to go." I swallowed hard, sprinting for the door and not bothering to turn around when I heard him shout or felt him tug. I just carried on.

I got out into the streets when I made my way down the tower block, I had no idea where I was but I didn't care. I just needed to get out of there away from Rory. He was so claustrophobic, wouldn't leave me be, even his words closed in around me too much. I just couldn't breathe.

I didn't want to see him again.

I wandered around the streets in the dark and eventually found my way into town where I fully intended to drown my sorrows in The Mill but when I got there, I stared at the place from across the road and suddenly had a change of heart. I was slipping into my old ways again, isolating myself from everyone and everything and drinking a lot more just because I didn't want to handle my situation. I walked away, going home.

It wasn't until I got into the quieter part of town did I hear a voice calling my name from across the street.

"Fred?"

I turned, "Brian?"