Body Language. Queen

Forget And Move On.

Brians's P.O.V.

The world stopped and everything was deathly silent.

Freddie had stopped breathing. So had I.

He suddenly propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at me.
"What..." he whispered.

I closed my eyes momentarily and nodded.

"What the fuck? When did this happen?" He sounded like he was panicking.

"Two weeks ago..." I mumbled.

"Two weeks ago?! But we've seen him these last couple of days...?" He questioned out loud.

"I know...he won't leave me alone. Doesn't believe that I've broken up with him. Keeps turning up at our house and to the studio..."
He kept looking at me confused so I carried on, "I've been pretending...in front of you and the boys that everything was fine with me and him. I didn't want to cause anymore damage than I already have. And I was embarrassed..."

"Brian...you should have told us, we could have helped! What were you embarrassed for, darling?" He soothed.

"That you were all right. That he was cheating on me. I caught him." I could feel myself getting upset.

"Oh fuck." He collapsed back onto the rock. "I'm so sorry..."

"I should have listened to you. I was just being ignorant, thought he was the one for me, didn't want to believe he could do such a thing to me...I know the truth now."

"We tried to warn you, Bri, but I know what it's like,  to be blinded by love and all...you think they're the best person in the world and you couldn't imagine life without them and then one day...poof...they're gone." Fred spoke with so much experience, it made me sad for him.

"I know you're probably not going to want to help me after everything I've put you through these past few months but...Fred...please help me get rid of him. I don't want him to come to our house anymore...I don't want to see him but he just won't get the message." I said, desperately.

"Why the fuck wouldn't I want to help you annihilate the prick? Leave him to me, Brian. I'll sort the cunt out." He said, with an evil smile.

He turned to me now, "Tell me the truth, are you okay?" He whispered.

His words made tears sting my eyes but I fought them back and nodded my head slightly, "It hurts. But I will be."

"Good. I know you'll come through. You really should have told us, we would have stopped Charlie from coming over." He put his skinny hand on my shoulder, the very dim lights of the horizon shining around the outlines of his body.

He took my breath away. He had done for years. I admired him. Stared at him whenever he wasn't looking. Cursed myself for...for liking him.

Because I did. I did fancy Freddie. I did.

The reasons I got so angry when he came up in our conversations was silly...it was just because I was green with jealousy at the amazing relationships Roger and John had with Fred. Always hanging out, joking, laughing. Those two always stood up for him and thought I hated him. Which was far from the truth. I just hated what everyone else had with him that I couldn't seem to have.

But he was far more eccentric than I. He liked to drink, take drugs...have sex with many people and live life on the edge. I was a safe liver. Of course I liked a drink but I didn't like the idea of drugs and I had always been faithful to just one person at a time.

That's why I could never let him know that my feelings for him were mutual. Because I knew I could never be with him.

It made me feel empty, knowing that he also liked me after wondering for so long, that we could easily be together but I knew it would never work. I longed for him, he was in my reach but yet so far away. And I had broken his heart, why the fuck would he even consider me anymore. It's best just to forget and move on.

But I felt tonnes better telling Freddie about Charlie. I was grateful that he was willing to help me get rid of him...another thing that I adored, no matter how much somebody had hurt him he was always there for a helping hand. He was too good to me...for me.

"I'm glad you've got rid of him." He smiled, looking up into the sky again.
I didn't need to ask why, he'd hated Charlie. And...he was jealous.

"He spoke to you like shit. Treat you like shit and cheated on you? How could somebody do that to you?" He said, softly.

Sometimes I just had to keep being mean to Freddie to keep that barrier between us because if I was nice to him all the time...and he was nice to me all the time...we'd be in a very different position to what we are now. I just constantly tried to put myself off him by allowing myself to say some horrible things to him. I didn't want to...but it worked.

And that's what was happening right now.

"He cheated on me with you." I spat.

I saw his face wince a little at my words and I instantly hated myself.

"Looks like I have something to tell you now." He said.

"What?"

"I never had sex with Charlie."

"Don't lie." I laughed.

"I'm telling the truth, Brian!"

"Then why when I confronted Charlie about it did he admit to fucking you?"

"Because he's a slag. He tried many times to fuck me. He begged me to fuck him that night we went to The Mill but I didn't. When I took him outa for dinner I was going to have sex with him that night but he was acting weird. Then when I went over to his the last time, he was all over me, he'd unbuttoned my jeans but I didn't want to, not after he'd blown me off the last time. And I thought things were really going to work for me and him so I wanted to do things properly, get into a relationship, get to know each other and then save that first fuck for a properly romantic evening. But then you fucking ruined it all didn't you." He laughed. "Charlie was probably telling you it happened to make himself look good, he told you many times about the people he was going to fuck while you were still together, which he probably didn't do."

His words made a whole lot of sense.
"But why did you tell me you fucked him?"

"I wanted to hurt you the way you had hurt me." He voice quiet.

We were two people in the same boat, both trying to hurt each other when that was the last thing either of us wanted to do. I couldn't be mad with him.

"I get that. I deserved it." I giggled.

"Yes you fucking did." He laughed too. "Come on let's go back, it's freezing."

He pulled me up off the rock and we walked together back to the bus.

((A/N - HAPPY 70th BIRTHDAY TO OUR BEAUTIFUL FREDDIE MERCURY <3
Also I have started a Deacury story😏))