Body Language. Queen

A Game.

Freddie's P.O.V.

My world collapsed around me and everything went silent even though the music was still deafening.

I stopped and stared at him.

He was staring at me too.

I was out of breath from trying to fight him off.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as I looked at him, he was breathing heavy too, his hands still on my collar pressing me up against the wall.

But then everything became normal again when I snapped back to reality.
The music flooded my ears again and everything went back to real time.

And then I snapped.

Pushing him away from me with one mighty use of my strength, he stumbled backwards looking shocked.

"Don't you fucking dare. Don't say that to me, DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT!" I screamed, my anger returning with vengeance. My fingers were clawing at my hair as I tried to fight back anger and tears.

"What..." Brian stepped towards me but I stepped away.

"You're lying. You always lie, you're lying! Don't mess with me like that, Brian!"

"I'm not messing-"

"YOU ARE! You don't mean it." I shook my head vigorously.

"I do..."

"You don't. You can't! You're always horrible to me! You don't do that to somebody you like! You said out there you can do better." I was trembling, I didn't know if it was because of the drugs or because I was so mad.

"I was kidding!"

"You were not! You've shot me down twice already. Point blank made it fucking obvious that you don't want me! You can't say that to me. Don't put me through this. Don't do it!" I was having some kind of panic attack and couldn't take no more, I ran off, with intentions of loosing Brian. I ran off into the toilets were I locked myself in a cubicle and sat on the seat.

I put my head between my knees and took deep breaths to steady my trembling limbs.

No. No no no no. He can't. He doesn't. Not after all this. Not now, not ever. He doesn't mean it.
Brian does not like me. He's drunk. He's not in a good frame of mind.
He can't.

How could he say that to me after all he's put me though and expect me to fall at his knees? How could he even expect me to believe him?!
After everything?!

I confessed I liked him months ago so he knew. And if he liked me then why didn't he say instead of getting with Charlie? To make me jealous? To put him off me? Why didn't he advance anything when they broke up? He knew I was single. He knew he had a chance! What the fucks he doing? Messing with my head, that's what he's doing. And he knows it. He's just playing a game.

He's been flirting a lot tonight but still, he hooked up with Scott when if he really wanted to he could have hooked up with me. He's just trying to get my hopes up. It's not going to work because I know the truth. He's never hidden it from me. He doesn't like me. He doesn't want me. He's lying. I don't believe him.

Even though I desperately want to.

He's given me no reason to think he's telling the truth. He's playing with me. He'll deny he ever said anything in the morning. He will!

I felt empty. I'd just heard the words I've wanted to hear for years and they actually came out of his mouth. But they didn't mean anything and it was devastating.

My heart was palpitating. I felt crushed. I wanted to retaliate, get him back somehow, go off the fucking rails.

I dug out the little pouch of cocaine from my pocket that Roger had given to me and took some to relax me and to make me feel better.

Suddenly I heard the door swing open that lead into the toilets.

"Freddie?! Are you in here?!"

It was Deaky. But I didn't want to be found, I just needed to be on my own for a short while. I pulled my feet up so he wouldn't be able to see them under the door and kept silent.

"Freddie?!" He called once more but again, I didn't answer. "Fuck." He hissed.

I breathed out in relief when I heard him leave.

Brian must have told them what happened. I wonder if he told them that he'd said to me that he likes me. I wonder if he bottled it and said we just had an argument.

Either way, right now I didn't care and I didn't want to think about it. I thought about slipping away and going to a completely different bar in another part of town and just slinking back to the hotel on my own in the early hours of the morning. I'd feel guilty if I did that though, it was supposed to be a night out with the boys, a reunion of sorts considering we hadn't done this for a while. And look what happens when it does...everything goes wrong.

I had stopped trembling and my anger had fizzled down a little thanks to the coke but I still felt empty. I didn't know how to feel. I just couldn't get my head around why he would do something like that.

I exited the cubicle and went back into the main club, bee lining for the bar and ordering a straight double vodka, I lingered there for a while before I felt a shove on my back.

"Hey."

I turned and instantly felt annoyed, it was that Scott who Brian had hooked up with and was flaunting.

"Where's my Brian?" He glared at me.

I laughed, "Your Brian?"

"Yes. That's right, my Brian. The one that you stole." He jabbed my chest.

I rolled my eyes at him. "If I stole him, then where is he?" I played, searching around dramatically.

"Don't fucking play with me, goofy. I want him back." He was getting in my face and I disliked him strongly. My hackles rose at his lame offending comment.

I smiled at him, "Darling. Go fuck yourself."

His eyes widened and he got closer in my face, "I won't need to because Brian is going to fuck me instead."

I cackled loudly, "Your dicks probably the size of your little finger. You're nothing but a Groupie. Goodbye." I waved in his face and disappeared into the crowds, "Cunt." I said to myself, I don't know how some people have the cheek.

I went on to explore the rest of this exotic club, it had several floors and I ventured up the stairs.

It lead me to a very high class cocktail bar that was a made completely of glass and was adorned with an extravagant ice sculpture. It would be the perfect sort of place that Marilyn Monroe would visit.

Although beautiful it wasn't quite wild enough for me so I snaked through another corridor that lead into another room...which is when I saw the three of them frantically searching. All at the same time their eyes laid upon me and gave me no time to escape.