Body Language. Queen

He Wasn't Here.

Freddie's P.O.V.

I sprinted out of the toilets, scanning over the vast crowds of people hoping to God that I would see a mass of curly hair amongst them. I saw a couple...but neither belonged to Brian.

My heart was thudding I was panicking so much.

I was stupid enough to tell him when he was vulnerable. If I was now responsible for him driving and crashing his car whilst he was drunk I would never fucking forgive my silly little self.

I pushed my way through people and ran outside, searching for Brian's car.

It wasn't there.

"Fuck!" I screamed, my hands gripping at my hair as I span around the car park frantically searching for the car we were both sat smiling in not much longer than an hour ago.

I didn't know what else to do...so I set off running at full pelt down the dark street looking for a telephone box and also looking for Brian.

"Brian!" I yelled as I continued to sprint. "No...no no no." I panicked to myself.

He was the only man I would ever run for. I mean, I ran around on stage all the time but run this fast for this long...I fucking hated it.

"Come on..." I willed either a red box to show up or Brian's car. The latter would be the favoured option.

I rounded a corner, gasping for breath but I pushed my body to keep running.

I nearly had a heart attack when I finally saw a telephone box.

Picking up my pace I bundled myself in and clumsily searched my pockets for any spare change.

I put the money in and dialled our house number.

"Pick up you fuckers!" I punched the inside of the telephone box.

"Hello?"

"Roger?! Rog. Fuck. Is Brian at home, tell me he's at home." I begged.

"No. I thought he was with you..." with the tone of his voice he already knew something was wrong.

"No! Fuck, oh my god. Roger, you and John both need to get in your cars and start looking for him." I rushed.

"Freddie. Slow down. What the hell is going on?" He tried to calm me but nothing would calm me until I knew that Brian was alright.

"We had an argument. He stormed off and...and I can't find him. He got in his car and he's driving, he's really drunk, Roger. Please just go out and look for him."

"Shit. Okay. Alright. We'll go. Freddie, you really need to stop fucking things up." And then he hung up on me.

I was stunned by that last sentence of his. I shouldn't be. I always fucked things up and made things worse. Brian could be lying dead now and it would be all my fault.

I set off running again, even though I had not yet recovered from that previous run.

Why couldn't we have just gone to The Mill? I knew where I was there, bang smack in the middle of town. But no, we had to go to a pub that we had never been to before so I hardly knew my way home from here!

I turned around multiple corners trying to make my way into town, maybe he had gone to The Mill? To drink more?

If he made it that far...

Eventually, after what seemed like a lifetime the scenery began to look familiar and I was able to find my way into town. I bee lined straight for The Mill, rushing in.

It was incredibly busy.

I pushed through the crowds, sometimes I got pushed back, sometimes I got swore at but right now I couldn't care less.

He was not at the bar.
He was not on the dance floor.
He was not outside.
And he was not in the toilets.
He wasn't here.

I ran straight back out, again, spinning around just in case I managed to catch a glimpse of him.

I ran to the bouncer on the doorway who knew me well, although I never have known his name.

"Has Brian been here tonight?!" I yelled.

"Not tonight mate." He shook his head.

And then I set off running again. This time, I was going to go to The Stone And Feather. He knew Dave in there and might have gone to have another lonesome drink.

The pub wasn't far and and in under ten minutes I burst through the doors.

"Dave?!" I yelled.

"Fred? What's up?" He looked at me wide eyed, he must have seen my distressed face.

"Have you seen Brian tonight?!" I huffed, completely exhausted and out of breath, my throat burned and my feet throbbed.

"No. I haven't seen any of you since before you went to Scotland!"

I growled loudly, leaving before Dave could question me further.

Now I had no idea where Brian would be and my worry was getting the better of me, I felt like I could burst into tears. But I had to get a grip, I had to find Brian.

I could only think of one more place to look. So set off running again to the destination, even though my body was telling me no more and I could taste blood in the back of my mouth from the lack of oxygen in my body, I kept going.

With the adrenaline driving me and my mind so focused on the task I was there before I knew it, sprinting down the street.

I almost collapsed and started to kiss the ground when I saw Brian's car parked outside. I inspected it, he wasn't in the car and there was a huge dint on the front bumper which made me shiver.

I tried to compose myself in the best way I could before walking up and praying that he was in the house.

I considered knocking but this wasn't the time to be polite. I tested the door and it was unlocked so I let myself in. I stood for a second, listening, it would have been so much easier if my heart wasn't pumping so loudly and my breathing wasn't so raspy...but I could hear him.

At least he was alive.

I tiptoed my way up the stairs, following his voice.

To find him here already made me feel sick and made me want to question why I even bothered looking for him. He obviously had never gotten over him.

But even if I was a shit friend I at least wanted him to know that I care about him.

Again, I stood outside a bedroom door and listened the some sickly giggling.

A wave of anger washed over me suddenly which made me push open the bedroom door.

I strolled in. Both of them yelping in fright at my rude entrance but I stared at them coldly.

My stomach churning as Brian lay underneath Charlie.

"Thought I might find you here." I spat.