Body Language. Queen

Blah Blah Blah.

John's P.O.V.

There was deafening silence as I just...stared at him.

What did he just say?

The oxygen left my lungs as if somebody had kicked me in the stomach.
My eyes were probably the size of saucers.
My mouth was hanging open slightly.
My heart was palpitating.

Once I had snapped out of my shocked trance I realised that Roger was searching for a reaction of some kind on my face, other than the stunned one I was sporting right now.

He looked rather uncomfortable.

"What...?" I managed to whisper, quietly.

He face softened as soon as he heard me speak.

A tiny relieved smile appeared on his lips but his eyes were still red from his crying.

His head nodded ever so slightly.
"Yeah..." he whispered. Quite clearly embarrassed, his cheeks glowing with a blush.

A grin started to grow on my face and before I knew it my forehead was resting on his and my hands were once again cupping his face.

"You're lying." I giggled, pushing him back on the bed and straddling him.

"I would never lie to you, Deaky." His eyes held the ultimate truth and it melted me.

Roger Taylor. The man that used to be nothing but a fellow band member whom I'd had the biggest crush on for the longest time...whom I'd drifted apart from because I was too shy to tell him my true feelings...whom I finally got to call my boyfriend...loves me.

I love you.
Those words sounded so strange to hear come from his mouth. Especially as they were being directed at me. They were for me.

I fell forward with my hands either side of his head as his body lay beneath mine and wasted no time in kissing those delicious lips of his, his messy blonde hair tickling my cheeks.

"You don't know how happy that makes me feel." I whispered, our lips millimetres apart.

He suddenly broke out into the most gorgeous of grins and flipped us over so he was crawling over me.

I would usually stop him from doing this but was so elated that I didn't give a shit.

But...no matter how much this made me the happiest man on earth...there was still guilt.
A lot of it.

I knew I couldn't say it back. I couldn't speak those extremely important words back to him.

Not yet.

Not until I've got the courage to sort out my other messy situation.

And it broke me. To hear him say those potentially life changing three words...and to not feel like I could say them back to him yet must have been crushing for him. He was so brave to say those words to me, I knew he was wanting...expecting...to hear them back and I knew that deep down it would be hurting him.

But I just couldn't.
I wanted to.
But I couldn't.
Not yet.

"So I can make you happy?" He smiled wildly, his face looming over the top of mine, that glistening, perfect grin on his face.

"I already told you that." I smiled back, tapping him lightly on his nose.

"I hate to ruin this wonderful moment...but Freddie will be waiting for you in the bar." He winked at me.

My heart plummeted a little, I didn't want this moment to end and was slightly apprehensive of what Freddie was wanting to talk about.
But I knew he meant well.

I pouted and Rog leant down to kiss me again before removing himself from me and helping me up off the bed.

I slipped on some shoes and pecked him on the cheek before going for the door.

I felt a playful slap on my bum and looked back to see his cheeky face grinning, "Hurry back."

"I'll try." I grinned back and left the room.

On my way down to the bar I could think of a few things that the frontman may want to talk about, Charlie, why I won't let Roger get intimate with me...blah blah blah.

I could see him as I entered, no longer dressed in just the towel but now in some casual jeans and T-shirt, sipping on a vodka.

I squeezed his shoulder as I took a seat beside him, "Hey."

"You're late." He side smiled, giggling.

I knew he wasn't being serious, "Sorry..."

"Oh please, no more apologising. You've done a lot of that in the last hour." He giggled, "Drink?"

"Umm...just a beer."

Fred bought me a beer and we made small talk before he finally dropped the bomb...well, one of them.

"So. Charlie. What happened with that cunt?" His voice was low.

I knew he was on a mission to find out everything, maybe to find peace or maybe it was just because that Freddie was basically the third person in this relationship of mine and Rogers...he was in far too deep.

"Oh. Yeah." I grimaced, instantly feeling my hackles rise just thinking about him, "He umm...when you told him to go away and leave Brian alone...he...he came over to me and pulled me away from Roger without him noticing. He pointed to you and then pointed to Roger and said 'They're fucking each other, you know.' at first I was like, yeah right, piss off Charlie."

I fiddled with the beer glass in my hand.

"What an absolute fucking arsehole. I'd like to punch him right where it hurts. He makes me so angry." He took a large gulp of his vodka, "So then what? You started to believe him?"

I sighed, "Well...it's like somebody telling a man that they're not actually the father to their child. It'll crush them. Play on their fucking mind until it's driving them insane and they just...crack. They believe it. Even when they know they shouldn't." I laughed, nervously.

"That's very understandable, I think I would be the same way. But really, Deaks? You think I would do that? You think Roger would do that? That was shit of you to think. Honey, if I wanted to fuck Roger I would have done it years ago. Besides, I set you two up, why would I mess up my work?" He smirked.

I felt bad, "I'm so sorry. I-I just know you have the reputation of fucking anyone you want and...and I just feel like if you did try it on with him...he'd let you. But I know you've changed, for the better. That was really crappy of me, Fred. I know you're better than that. Besides...something rather strange just happened..."

"I'm a fuck magnet, Deaks. It can't be helped! But umm...yes, thank you for noticing my change. Apology accepted. So go on, what strange thing happened?"

He leaned closer, obviously getting excited by the prospect of juicy gossip.

I couldn't help the fluttery grin spreading across my face and the blush creeping across my cheeks, "Roger just told me he loves me..."