Adopted by Jennifer Lawrence

Chapter 45

Katie's POV

Shit, shit, shit I think to myself as I lean against the door. Why did I say that! What's wrong with me! I shouldn't have said that! I'm such an idiot! Jen's never gonna look at me the same again, I can't go near her, I should never have said that.

I go to my wardrobe and grab a pair of jeans and pull them on quickly. I grab my phone and tie my hair up. I'm not staying here, I need out, for a little while just to get my thoughts in order. I walk past my bed ignoring the pile of sick on it and walk out of the room and go downstairs to grab the keys to Jen's car, I take the keys to the hatchback and leave as fast as I can. I need some time on my own for awhile, I don't know how long but at least a few hours. It's the early hours of the morning so the roads are pretty empty as the sun rises on LA.

I wonder what's going through Jen's mind right now? She's probably pleased that I called her that but I don't know if I'm ready to say that. I could never replace my mom. I loved my mom... Love my mom. She was a loving mother but just didn't know how to handle her feelings. To be honest I'm almost sure she had bipolar disorder but I would never bring that up to her, I would never have wanted to hurt her feelings or upset her. I don't want to even think about her, Its my fault she's dead. I should have gotten her out of that fire. It's all my fault. My father however I do not care about him, never have, never will. I've seen what he put my mom through and it was unforgivable. He spent every weekend in life drunk to the point that he couldn't stand and every week in life at work acting like he was superior to everyone else.

I remember having to help my mom get him upstairs every weekend because she was terrified that he would fall down the stairs and hit his head. She loved my father but he didn't love anyone and I don't understand how she handled that. I used to struggle not to shout at my mom to divorce him or call the police on him or anything that would get him out of her life. I didn't care about myself, just her. She didn't deserve it, his behaviour didn't affect me I was used to it. He was like that all my life.

I remember a few years ago when I was fourteen I got into a fight with him one weekend when he was drunk and he challenged me. I can still here him taunting me, spurring me on, spitting obscenities at me, "Come on! Take a dig!" He yelled at me with his eyes popping with fury. My mom stood behind me cause I pushed her behind me cause I was concerned for her safety. I remember my anger getting the better of me and throwing a punch at his face and him tumbling back onto the hard floor below him, I remember climbing on top of him and punching him multiple times until his face was bloody and my mother had to drag me off as I thrashed in pure rage. Maybe his behaviour did affect me but just not the way it affected my mom, she would cry and I'd console her but I however. I would get angry.

I lied to Jen about my parents. A lot. She believes that they died five years ago and that I didn't love either of them and that they both mistreated me but that's not the case at all. They died two years ago, I loved my mother and only my mother but yes I was mistreated by my father, only when I was young and defenceless but as I grew I became stronger, angrier and more daring. I didn't tell Jen the truth about them because I'm ashamed of it and I want to tell her the truth I just don't know how.

I come back to reality when I realise that an hour has passed by and I have just been absentmindedly driving about LA without a destination.

I'm gonna get Jen something to say sorry I think to myself. I drive to the store and buy an array of all Jen's favourite sweets and chocolates and even some stuff to make some dinner. I leave the store and feel a sense of accomplishment.

I drive towards home and decide for the last stint of my journey that I'll need to decide what to do. I'll have to explain the truth to Jen and let her know that I feel bad about not telling her Scarlett was sick and also let her know that I'm here for her anytime she needs me.

I turn into the driveway and wait for the gates to open, when they do I drive up and park beside the GTS and then get out and walk to the front door and unlock it.

I walk into the hall and see Jen sitting at the bottom of the stairs with a worried look on her face as her leg bounces up and down nervously and she clings to her phone with both hands.

Her eyes meet mine and she shoots up running across the hall to me and I stop in my tracks as she runs into me, embracing me tightly. I stand confused with my arms up at my side in confusion as I hold the small plastic back and car key in my hand. She quickly lets go and pushes me away with tears in her eyes.

"Where were you?!" She almost yells at me.

"I went  out I needed time to think," I sigh back.

She runs back into my arms and this time I embrace her.

She pushes me off again and I step back waiting for her to speak.

"Why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't you answer the phone?! I was worried sick!" She yells hysterically and I freeze.

"I- I-," I stutter back and she stares at me for a reply.

"I don't know, I had my phone but I didn't get any calls. I'm sorry," I answer her questions and her face stays the same.

"Here," I say holding the bag out towards her and her eyes flicker down to it with interest.

"What is that?" She asks and I just wave it towards her more in a suggestive way.

She takes it from my hand and holds it with one hand and rummages in it with the other.

"I felt bad about... well everything. So I got you some stuff and stuff to make some dinner. If you'll have it?" I tell her in a timid tone.

She looks up from the bag and into my eyes and her face softens.

She hugs me tightly and mutters a thank you into my shoulder and I tighten my grip on her as she grips my back tightly.

"I'm sorry," I mumble into her sadly. I still feel bad and now even worse for not telling Jen or even making an effort to make contact.

A/N: So how was this?? A lot came out in this chapter! Let me know what you thought in the comments! I worked really hard on Katie's back story there now to make it all kinda link so tell me if you like it or not!