Can't hate you || e.d

I hate you

Y/n

I was drowning. It felt like I got thrown into all my miserable tried to survive somehow and do everything right. It felt like I just faces my defeats.. and my defeats were cold.. really cold.. just like my soul. I lost again. With doing nothing. This time it wasn't my fault.. it was because of some messed up freak who made me so angry that I could feel my whole body burning so the water wasn't that cold anymore at all..

I couldn't remember the last time I was that angry and disappointed. But it was my own fault.. wait no it wasn't.. who would just push a girl into cold water at night and just leave? What fucking asshole would do that?

I got out of the water and I was freezing. To be honest it was less worse in the water. The wind made me almost freeze and turn into ice. We were in the middle of autumn and I was in the in the middle of a war which I was going to win this time..

How could he do that to me? I knew he was mean and an asshole.. he said it by himself.. but I didn't expect this. Especially because of something so stupid. So many thoughts were running through my head and I hated everything..

I don't know why he did that.. and I didn't want to know it. I didn't care if he was secretly jealous, if he just wanted to hurt me, if he was stupid or anything else. I just want revenge. I couldn't understand how his brain was working. He wanted me to help him and he admitted that he was only using me.. so why wasn't he nice? Did he really think I'd forget everything and just keep coming back to him.

So I walked 'home'. Of course I took my shoes off. There wasn't a dry spot on my body. I could've finally died but instead of that, I was walking back to his mansion, freezing... shaking..crying of anger and hate. Why did he safe me when he just wanted to try to kill me anyway? He really left. He didn't even wait and watch me to enjoy it. He really didn't care.. he just left me here not asking himself how I would get back, what I could do or what would happen.. What a disgusting fraud.

With my shaking jaw which was trying to clench I got this crazy idea out of nowhere..

I would help him to rob the bank.. and tell the police afterwards. I didn't care if I was going to get arrested as well but this time he was going to drown with me...

Of course I wasn't going to do the bank rob with him. I was just going to give him the plans and I didn't think that the police would believe someone who's been doing illegal shit instead of a seventeen girl who was just being used for his plans because she was the daughter of the CEO.

I was so ready to do that. I was going to plan everything with every detail in my head and then I'd make him fall.. and Charlie was right.. he was a bad influence... he was a sociopath and a really good actor..

I wasn't going to go back home. Never. But I was going to leave after that. No matter where...
Even if he punched Matt for me.. or himself.. he didn't have the right to do this.. His payback was harder than I thought but I bet he wasn't ready for mine.

As I arrived I looked at the mansion from the outside and I wanted to fucking burn that shit down. I knocked on the door very aggressively and Sam opened it. "Oh my god! Honey what happened to you?" she asked me eyes wide open but I didn't respond. I just walked in past her really fast and heard her saying "Miranda bring her a towel!" I stopped in the middle totally out of breath still shaking..

"Where. is. he?" I asked with a shaking voice. I felt like I was going to explode.. he couldn't just hide like a little kid.. he couldn't expect m to not find him... "WHERE IS HE?"
"Mr. Dolan? He's in his office." she answered totally perplexed and shocked. Miranda came with a towel and wanted to wrap it around me but I shook her off and threw the towel away.
"DOLAN!" I screamed looking up waiting for him to come out.. and I could feel the anger coming up. it wasn't anger.. it was fire.. it was hate.