Can't hate you || e.d

Party crashers

Sun

Blake was very funny. He made me laugh all the time.. but not like Dean made me laugh. Was it always going to be like this? Was I going to compare every person to Dean? Was I always going to be so attached to him? It seemed like nothing was functioning without him.. especially not me. It seemed like I was broken. He threw me out of my system.

I also got to know Moon's girlfriend. Well at least that's what she seemed like. It was obvious that they didn't label it yet but she was very nice and funny. She was beautiful and pretty confident but shy at the same time, just like me. That made us get close very soon in that short time. Moon got to know Blake and first I didn't want to tell him that he was Dean's brother because I didn't want to judge him but I couldn't hide it from him because he was going to find out about it anyway. First he was pissed and asked me how I could do that and what this thing between us was.

"First his brother, and now him? So quickly? What is wrong with you?" he asked totally mad. I knew what he was assuming. "Of course not! It's a long story! Stop judging him! There's nothing between us! Give him a chance!". Of course we didn't talk in front of Blake. That would've been very embarrassing.

First he was suspicious but he got to know him a little and then he liked him. He liked him because he was not like Dean. That pissed me off but I wasn't going to kill his mood because it was his birthday. He was so damn lucky.

Then I remembered Chloe. "Moon did you invite Chloe?" I asked him very curiously and he looked up from his cup. "Yup. She said that she's probably over there.. somewhere." he said pointing into a direction. I tried to find her in the crowd but couldn't spot her. I wanted to go to find her but decided to not. For now. I wanted to talk to her and update her on what happened but it wasn't the right moment so I was going to greet her later. I sighed and he turned back to his conversation with Skylar.

I started playing with the soft texture of my skirt. Blake lifted my chin with his fingers so softly that I barely felt his touch. "What's wrong?" he asked me with his raw voice and one of the cups in his hand.. I took a deep breath through my nose and tried to seem happy and positive.. but it was impossible.

"Dean.." I whispered but I knew that he heard me. I felt the tears in my eyes so I blinked them away. "I knew I should be mad at him and realize what an asshole he actually is.. or just hate him for being so rude all the time.. but I can't." I shook my head. "I don't want it. I want him to come back because I need him. I miss him and I'm worrying about him. That's probably so stupid because I deserve better than someone who treats me like this and all but-.. am I stupid?" I asked and almost had to laugh although I wanted to cry.

He looked down into his cup and swallowed. He furrowed his eyebrows and for a second I was really worrying about what he was going to say or what he was thinking. Then he shook his head and looked at me.

"You're not stupid... You're in love." he said and I could see the honest in his eyes and a lot of more feelings. I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to hold my tears back. I didn't want to cry but I was really emotional. "You're so deep in love with him that you would forgive him everything because you want him to be alright.. you're so positive that you want to fix everything.. you believe in him, hold onto him and don't let go. You believe that you can change him.. and you already do.." he continued and a tear almost rolled down my cheek. I had to laugh.

"Do you think he loves me too?" I asked with a shaking voice and a painful smile. She looked into my face for a few seconds as if he was going to say that he was not loving me.. as if he was going to tell me that Dean really had no feelings at all and couldn't care no matter how much he tried and that it all was fake.