Can't hate you || e.d

Friends don't lie

Sun

"Oh my fucking god.. you kinda messed up a little bit." I looked at him, eyes widened after he told me everything, while he was rubbing his eyes like he woke up from a long nap.

He clenched his jaw and sighed. "OH, really? Thanks for telling me!" he said, also eyes widened, with a smile. I knew it was ironic but I still had to laugh.

Unfortunately I had to keep it in because I knew how important this was for him. He was seriously upset and pissed about the whole situation and himself.

He said that he tried to make her stay but that she wanted to leave, no matter how he explained it and in my eyes she was totally right.

She needed time to think about it and understand him. I knew being with my golden mr. nice guy brother wasn't easy sometimes. I knew what she was thinking and probably feeling and I was so sorry.

"God, why did I have to say her name?" he ran his hands through his hair. I could hear how much he was actually worrying about it. His voice was deep and raspy.. sad and angry.

I could hear the thunders. "Don't you fucking dare to cry." I said totally seriously with furrowed eyebrows. "I am not!" he said and leaned back but I knew he was going to cry because he was so angry with himself.

"What is actually bothering you about this situation? Are you still thinking about her? Are you still feeling something for her? Be honest. Seriously.. is there still something for her.. deep down there?" I asked pointing at his chest.

Earlier when he started telling me what happened I picked up a chair up I could sit down across from him, in the mess he made. I looked straight into his eyes and so did he.

"I swear to god.. I forgot about her. I don't even remember how she looks. I feel nothing for her. I didn't think of her for such a long time!" he said with his hand on his chest. I believed him but I knew these things weren't as easy as they seemed.

"Well obviously you do because otherwise you wouldn't have said her name. She's still in the back of your mind." I said and his jaw dropped. He didn't seem amused about what I said.

"Are you a psychiatrist or something? Why did you ask if you already know it!" he sounded so angry but I didn't care because we needed to talk about this. "So it's true!" I said like I caught him.

"God damn no! I only love Luna! I love this little girl with my entire fucking heart and I don't know why this whore's name rolled off my damn tongue! I hate her so much, she can go to hell!"

He was so pissed and really aggressive. He clenched his fists and I could see the veins on his neck. I rolled my eyes.

"I know, you stupid ass. But there's obviously something that's bothering you." I told him and he seemed confused, so I decided to explain it to him.

"She left you without giving you an explanation or talking to you.. or saying goodbye.. she just disappear after doing you dirty and you are still asking yourself.. why? But you never got an answer and you're probably never going to."

He looked away instead of into my eyes after I said that and I knew I was right. It was obvious.

"She left you without explain why, saying goodbye or talking to you about it before and you're still asking yourself.. 'why?'. That's the thing that's still deep down there in your heart because there was no explainable reason. You'll always ask yourself why.."

It seemed like I hit him with that question. I was sure that it was true but he never realized it because he tried to not think of it and obviously that was not a good idea when we look at the results of the day.