Can't hate you || e.d

Real secrets

Sun

I felt how someone stroke my hair.. even tho I was sleeping tightly with sweet dreams.. that gentle touch was enough to get me back to reality. I was so exhausted and so tired that it took me a while to open my eyes but when I finally made it a little bit and looked up I saw Dean in front of me.

He was still wearing his heavy mission clothes and smiling at me like he didn't just come back from a war.

I let the pillow that I was hugging go and sat up immediately. My high blood pressure was a match with my wide eyes.

He looked fine. No blood, no scratches, no wounds, nothing. He didn't seem hurt.. only really tired and exhausted..

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.. "God, I was so worried!" I said, noticing how nervous I was before I fell asleep in front of the tv while watching the news to check if they got any attention. I was so scared that they would get caught or somebody would see them that I didn't take my eyes from the tv for a second.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and said "No need to worry. I'm here now." and his voice sounded like the voice of an angel. Something about him changed. He seemed so calm and even more mature.

I backed off and looked at him totally worried. "Yes! After thirteen hours!" I said angrily. I was really worried. The whole time. I was so scared that something would happen to them or their enemies would show up here and kidnap some of us.

"But I'm back.. and I'm not going anywhere." he whispered, after leaning his forehead against mine. I put my hands on his cheeks. "You didn't get hurt, right?" I asked, still worried. He softly shook. "No.. I'm okay.." he answered and I smiled softly.

I wanted to tell him something but dad walked in with his arms in the air.

"I'm gonna sleep for the next twenty four hours. Don't even dare to wake me up." he said and yawned, stretching himself.

I smiled and saw how Moon walked straight upstairs after waving at us. He seemed really busy and excited for something. Seemed like everything went very well.

So I turned back to Dean and looked at him.. his eyes were shining and his soft smile made my heart melt but I just needed to ask him this. "Is.. is he dead?" I asked, a little sad and afraid of the answer. He pressured his lips to a flat bloodless line. I was more than afraid of his answer, although I already knew the answer.. I mean that's what this mission was about. "Yes.." he nodded. He didn't seem sad but he also didn't seem happy.

I took a deep breath with the weird feeling in my chest. It was so awkward.. I didn't think I would feel like this.. I didn't think it would feel so heavy. Even through all this stuff.. we've spent some good time and I wasn't really sure if he deserved death.. anyway. It was over, I felt free at the same time. He wasn't existing anymore just like we wanted it and there was nothing to worry about anymore. Nothing that could bother us...

"Don't watch the news for the next three days, please." he said. I looked at him a little curious. "What did you do? Or let me ask; how did you do it?" I asked and he bit his inner cheek. "I'm not going to tell you anything... I'll just say... his fall took like fifteen second."

I looked at him eyes widened with my stomach that dropped. "Did you push him off a building?" I asked and he smiled. "That's enough. I already said too much. Come on." he said, and stood up at the same time. He helped me to stand up while I looked at him, still totally confused.

"I'm tired as hell. I want to cuddle and sleep." he said with shining eyes and all my problems disappeared. I smiled like a little kid, grabbed his hand and pulled him upstairs with me.