Can't hate you || e.d

Mixed feelings

Luna

After school I decided to call Moon. I wanted to talk to him. Not necessarily about what was bothering me. I just didn't want to act childish and ignore him or stay away from him.

So I called him when I made sure that mom and dad were busy enough to not hear me and that Avery was far away from me because I didn't need her to snitch on me. Already had enough of that.

So I called him and it took him a while to answer.. I decided to not jump into conclusions. I just hoped he wasn't mad because I was so distant and confused about this all but I needed him to understand that it wasn't easy for me to trust somebody while I had all these issues and self insecurities.

When he picked up I felt the weight fall off my shoulders.

"Luna.." he said my name like he didn't expect me to call. I could feel how strong my heartbeat was and for a second I didn't even know what to say.

"Moon.." I said and tried to not sound so distant or stupid. This all was childish and I wanted to forget it but I was literally the queen of overthinking.

"I'm- uhm I'm glad that you called." he said and I bit my lower lip because I was so worried. I hated how awkward this seemed, although it should've been totally normal for us. It was a simple phone call, how awkward could it be?

"I know.. I wanted to hear your voice.." I said and noticed the noises in the background. He wasn't alone and it sounded like he was driving. Before I could decide to not jump into conclusions my brain jumped into conclusions.

"I thought about calling you all day... there's so much I want to talk to you about.. but I'm driving right now." he said and I knew he was honest because he sounded so desperate.

"Where are you going?" I asked quietly and a little sad.

"I'm with some friends right now. We need to get something done. I don't know when I'll be back but I'll see you as soon as I'm back, I promise." he said, sounding really really sad about it.

I didn't know what to say or how to react. "Oh. Okay." I said. I didn't want to judge him or jump into conclusions so asking him more about it wouldn't make a difference.

I wanted to ask him who he was with so bad and why he was going somewhere without knowing when he would come back although I needed him but I couldn't.

"Baby, I love you. There's nothing that I want more than to hug you right now." he sounded so broken and hurt that it killed me. I hated myself for overthinking. I wanted to hug him too..

"I love you. Then just hug me when you come back."

Moon

When I hung up I wanted to throw my phone out of the window. I hated myself for being so stupid and stubborn and having this damn feeling in my chest.. why couldn't I just let it be and stay with my girl? Why did I need to get this done? Probably because I wouldn't stop thinking about it if I wouldn't do it.

"Do I have to remind you of what you said to me earlier or should I mention how cheesy you are?" Dean said from the backseat and I had to laugh.

"Good, we're all cheesy and soft when it comes to our girls." Blake said next to me. That was true. No matter how bad we were, the softness just got us whenever one of them looked at us with a puppy face.

"You are only saying that because you know very well that your girl is going to call you soon and that you have to say worse things than these!" Dean said and I bursted out in laughter. "Oh, for real, I didn't even think about that!" I said and I had to be honest.. they were a good distraction. A good company..