Can't hate you || e.d

Two sides

Sun

He said he knows who I was with, then he checked who he really was.. I was sure he was lying.. it was obvious.. and I hated it.

"I'll kill him." he said totally seriously but very chilled. My jaw dropped and I started laughing even tho I knew that he meant it.. "You can't be serious." I said knowing that he was serious. "You know exactly that I'm serious." he said knowing that I was knowing that he was serious. My stomach dropped and I felt like I couldn't breath. The thought of it made me crazy..

Then I thought of what would've happened if dad would've known that Dean was someone who was getting high, into fights and who was dangerous.. someone who was screaming at me sometimes.. being mean but also touchy and flirty all the time.. he definitely would've lost it. He would have killed him without hesitation.

"No you-..."
"Is he your boyfriend?" he asked me getting angry again and I remembered what Dean told his dad.
"Yes!" I answered hoping that Dean meant it.. he was my first boyfriend..w
He was shaking.

"Then you'll be single again very soon." he said and I put my phone completely away.
Then he turned around and wanted to leave but I screamed.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!" that was enough. "WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO WEIRD? WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BOYFRIEND LIKE EVERY OTHER TEEN GIRL?" I lost my patience. He turned around breathing heavily. "ME?! YOU'RE ACTING WEIRD! AND PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LIKE EVERY OTHE TEEN GIRL!" he screamed back.. this time mom and Moon were just watching us totally disappointed.

"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT I CAN'T HAVE A NORMAL LIFE!" I continued.. he looked like I was crazy. "WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THAT?" I sighed.

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE FOR SO LONG AND GO TO A GUYS PLACE! YOU CAN'T JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!" his voice was so rough... "SO IT'S MY MISTAKE THAT I HAVE A DAD WHO FREAKS OUT WHEN HIS DAUGHTER COMES HOME TOO LATE?" at this point we were just screaming at each other. And I didn't want him to talk about Dean. I wanted him to get the actual matter and understand how much it was actually bothering me. and I wished we could've talked about this without screaming..

"WHOSE DAD WOULDN'T? YOU'RE ONLY SIXTEEN!" he screamed back and in that second I explode... "THOSE WHOSE DAD'S AREN'T GANG LEADERS! THOSE WHO CAN LET THEIR KIDS HAVE NORMAL LIFES!" his jaw dropped and I couldn't believe myself. The anger and adrenaline just got me. I knew that I had no right to talk like this to him.. I knew I was wrong and unfair.. I didn't mean it and I didn't want to be so disrespectful.. but I couldn't stop myself.. I wanted to.. I wanted to apologize and hols myself back.

My mom stood up and walked towards us. "Sun!" she shouted but dad stopped her.
"IF YOU WOULD BE A NORMAL KID NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE!" he was shaking as well. This was the first time we were arguing like this and I hated it because this was not what I wanted.. this wasn't me.. this wasn't him..

"I WISH IT WOULDN'T! I WISH I WOULD HAVE A NORMAL DAD INSTEAD OF A CONTROL FREAK!" I held onto my head when I said that and regretted it immediately. Why was I so mean? Why couldn't I just shut up?. He looked disappointed and kinda hurt. I went too far.. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I couldn't take back what I said even if I wanted it..

"But you know what?" he was still breathing heavily after hat little silence but he wasn't screaming anymore. "You'll never have a normal life or a normal dad. I won't even let you go to school. You're being homeschooled from now on." he continued looking extremely mad and disgusted.

It hurt and I realized how bad I actually fucked up.. if I would've been him I probably would've thrown myself away..

His voice was shaking.
"I don't know what's wrong with you, what he did to you or why you are like this but I don't like it. That's not my Sun." he added and my heart broke.. he tried to keep calm, I could see that. He was fighting with himself but I couldn't believe his words.. he didn't want me to go to school. That was too much.. he couldn't cut me off life so easily because of two mistakes.