Can't hate you || e.d

Red pumps

Ethan

They opened the door of their apartment and I stepped in without waiting for them to let me in or greet me. I didn't care if they didn't want me to enter or not because I had to. I had to do this so I could sleep normally again.

Five days past since Christmas. It was New Year's Eve and I needed to get this off my chest.

My parents looked at me. They were worried.. confused.. maybe a little anxious. I clenched my jaw and swallowed.

"Explain it to me." I said and furrowed my eyebrows. "What..?" my mother asked a little overwhelmed. "Explain why you did what you did."

This was more than hard for me. It was a huge step that I thought about for so long and I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing or not. But I needed to do it for my family.

"Please, sit down.." my father said, pointing at the couch in front of me. At first I didn't want to but I knew this was going to take us long and I didn't want to make this all worse than it already was so I sat down.

They sat down across from me. I tried to keep calm but my hands were shaking..

"We were very young when we got married... we had no money.. and you were very interested in what your uncle was.. or is doing. We couldn't take care of you." she explained like it was really easy but she couldn't even look into my eyes. My blood started boiling because she said it like that was the whole thing or like it would be the best excuse for everything..

"So you just let me go. You decided to act like your only child doesn't exist. You just disappeared and left me on my own in the middle of Italy. I was seven fucking years old. How great..."

My voice was shaking. The anger and the pain that I felt during all these years.. overcame me. I thought I already handled it very well but that wasn't true.. My head started burning. I clenched my fists and tried to keep calm again because I came to listen to them and not to judge them.

But thinking of how they disappeared.. like literally disappeared.. made me crazy. I thought everything would be fine but they just weren't there on the next day. My whole world turned upside down out of nowhere and I couldn't understand anything. I had so many question marks in my head and my anger grew with every day. My hate towards them grew with every second. I felt so broken.. so betrayed.. I was just a child.

So many birthdays, holidays and other things passed without them. I got colder and colder with every year.. my hate turned me into who I was before I met Melissa.

If my uncle wouldn't have taken care of me.. I would've already been dead with twelve. He did everything for me. He replaced my mom and my dad so well that I didn't even want them to come back anymore. I didn't need them and I promised myself to never forgive them. That I wouldn't give a fuck about them even if they would come back but guess what? They didn't come back.

Anyway.. I fell into this hole and my uncle got me out of it. He was already in the middle of all this mafia shit and of course I was interested in it. I wanted to be like him and do everything that he was doing. I wanted to watch him and go with him wherever he was going. I wanted to be one of the bad guys.

He always tried to get me away from that stuff but he couldn't control me or tell me to not because he was doing the same so it was ridiculous to tell me that what he was doing was wrong. So I jumped in the boat and we decided to do it all together. He was my teacher and I was sure that it was also nice for him to have someone from his family next to him. He took care of me, raised me, sometimes yelled at me, warned me and all that other stuff that uncles do and that's why I'm in his debt forever and that's why he's the only one I trust besides my own family.